Santa Jokes / Recent Jokes

Santa and Jeeto were delighted when their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption center called and told them that they had a wonderful Tamil baby boy, and they took him without hesitation.
On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses.
After they filled out the forms, the registration clerk inquired, "What ever possessed you to study Tamil?"
Santa and Jeeto said proudly, "We just adopted a Tamil baby, and in a year or so he'll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him."

One day sardarji was sitting in his office on the thirteenth floor of a building when a man came running in to his office and shouted "Santa singh your daughter Preeto just died in an accident"
Sardarji was in panic. Not knowing what to do he jumped from his office window. While coming down when he was near the tenth floor he remembered he didn't have a daughter named Preeto. When he was near the fifth floor he remembered he was not married. When he was about to hit the ground he remembered he was not Santa Singh.

A little girl is waiting in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, she climbs up onto Santa's lap and Santa asks, "What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?"
"I'd like a Barbie and a G.I. Joe," she replies.
Confused, Santa says, "I thought Barbie comes with Ken."
"Oh, no," she explains. "She comes with G.I. Joe. She just fakes it with Ken!"

Santa Meets His Friend Bunta
Santa: A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B...!
Bunta: Oye, Iska Matlab?
Santa: Kuch Nahin Yaar, I Mean Long Time No C..!

Phone Ki Ganti Baji.
Santa: Phone Mere Liye Ho To Kehna Mein Ghar Pe Nahin Hoon.
Jasmeet: Wo Ghar Pe Hain.
Santa: Maine Mana Kiya Tha Ke...
Jasmeet: Phone Mere Liye Tha!

1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
2. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.
3. Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.
4. While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.
5. Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!
6. Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa."
7. Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.

Some time ago, someone had posted an article saying how the existance of Santa Claus was impossible. I took this article and sent it to a number of friends on campus. Somehow, it got to one of the professors on campus by the name of Ted Davis. He wrote the following reply.
Dear Mr. Crowell:
The analysis you sent me about the death of Santa Claus, based on classical physics, is seriously flawed owing to its neglect of quantum phenomena that become significant in his particular case. As it happens, the terminal velocity of a reindeer in dry December air over the Northern Hemisphere (for example) is known with tremendous precision. The mass of Santa and his sleigh (since the number of children and their gifts is also known precisely, ahead of time, and the reindeer must weigh in minutes before the flight) is also known with tremendous precision. His direction of flight is, as you say, essentially east to west.
All of that, when taken together, means that the momentum vector more...