Sarah Jokes / Recent Jokes

Alaska governor Sarah Palin (the vice president nomination)reveals her history in this exclusive footage of her accepting therepublican committee's nomination to be interim vice president (untilMcCain's heart gives out).

A woman, calling Mount Sinai Hospital, said, "Hello, I want to know if a patient is getting better."

The voice on the other end of the line said, "What is the patient's name and room number?"

She said, "Yes, darling! She's Sarah Finkel, in Room 302."

He said, "Oh, yes. Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she's had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine, she's going to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours and if she continues this improvement, Dr. Cohen is going to send her home Tuesday."

The woman said, "Thank God! That's wonderful! Oh! That's fantastic! That's wonderful news!"

The man on the phone said, "From your enthusiasm, I take it you must be a close family member or a very close friend!"

She said, "I'm Sarah Finkel in 302! Cohen, my doctor, doesn't tell me a word!"

The following excerpts are actual answers given on history tests.Ancient Egypt was old. It was inhabited by gypsies and mummies who all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate Of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandos. He died before he ever reached Canada but the commandos made it. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. He was a actual hysterical figure as well as being in the bible. It sounds Like he was sort of busy too.The Greeks were a highly sculptured people and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a young female moth.Socrates was a famous old Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. He later died from an overdose of wedlock Which is apparently poisonous. After more...

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. "Well," said her mother "so how was the honeymoon?"

"Oh, mama," she replied, "The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..."

Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language -- things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home... PLEASE MAMA!"

"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "Calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT 4-letter words?"

"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed they're just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE!!!"

"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother the 4 letter words!"

Still sobbing, the bride more...

A wildlife biologist crew leader has several crews, each consisting of two biologists. The crews camped and worked in the woods and he made his rounds to visit each pair every few days. One particular crew, Sarah and Jim, were not getting nearly as much work accomplished as the others, so he suspected that they might be up to some funny business. The following day, he paid them a visit. "Is anything funny going on here"? he asked. "What do you mean by that?" the pair asked back. "I mean, you're not getting much fieldwork done. Are you two, you know, maybe doing something you're not supposed to do?" "Absolutely not!" the Jim replied. " We are strictly co-workers" "Oh yes," the Sarah replied, " We hike all day, record our data, return back, and fall asleep exhausted. "That's right!" Jim replied, "and me in my tent, and she in hers!" The crew supervisor spent the remainder of the day in th e field with more...

Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. "Listen to this," she said. "There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium." "Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine. Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?" "Absolutely not," he said. "How sweet," Sarah said. "Tell me why not." "Season's more than half over," he said.

David Letterman Monologue on back to school, RNC, and Sarah Palin VP Candidate