Sarah Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sarah Palin met with the Republican governors association yesterday. She said, "Just because we are the minority party doesnt mean we have to be the negative party." The new GOP slogan: happy happy joy joy.

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:
Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess."
"What's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher. "Don't put all
your eggs in one basket!"

"Very good," said the teacher.
Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten
Live chicks.
The moral to this story is, "don't count your chickens before they're hatched."
"That was a fine story Sarah. more...

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Sarah!
Sarah who?
Sarah' nother way into this building? Knock Knock
Who's there!
Sarah!
Sarah who?
Sarah doctor in the house?

Sarah was reading a newspaper while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing.' Listen to this,' she said.'There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium.'' Hmmm,' her husband said, not looking up from his magazine. Teasing him, Sarah said,' Would you swap me for a season ticket?'' Absolutely not,' he said.' How sweet,' Sarah said.' Tell me why not.'' Season's more than half over,' he said.

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother."Well, how was the honeymoon?" asked the mother."Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..." Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language. He's been saying things I've never heard before! All these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home... please mama!""Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words has he been using?""Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed! They're just too awful! You've got to come get me and take me home... please mama!""Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset... Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"Still sobbing, the bride replied, more...

Mrs. Flebs, a teacher, was standing in front of her class. It was the beginning of the new school year. Mrs. Flebs said, "Okay class, we're going to go around the room and have everybody say a sentence. We'll start with Sarah."
Sarah said, "Cows have spots."
Terrence said, ''Baseball is a sport."
Carla said, "Computers are electronic."
Bobby said, "Urinate."
Mrs. Flebs said, "Bobby, urinate is a word, not a sentence."
Bobby said, "Not urinate, it's you're an eight. And if you had bigger tits you'd be a ten."

A old Jewish man on his deathbed whispered, "Sarah, Sarah, where are you, my dear wife?" "Right here at your side, my love." "And my son, Moishe... where is he?" "Right here at your side, papa." "And my daughter, Mitsy... where is she?" "Right here at your side, papa." "And my son, Abraham... where is he?" "Right here at your side, papa." "What, none of you assholes is minding the store?"