Sarah Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three friends died and went to heaven. The first friend, Sarah, was the first one to go into the pearly gates and meet "God"."Hello Sarah, it is so nice to see you here" God said to her. "Please make yourself at home and do whatever you want. Slide down the rainbows, sleep on the clouds, just have fun. BUT DON'T Step on the ducks" God said. "We love and cherish ducks here".So, Sarah goes on her merry way and enjoys herself. Until OPPS! She steps on a duck. Suddenly the ugliest, most hideous man pops up and Sarah realized she must spend the rest of her life with him.Next, Olivia goes into the pearly gates and God tells her the same thing. "Do whatever you want, just DON'T step on the ducks". So, Olivia goes on her way and OPPS! She steps on a duck. And she, too has to spend the rest of her life with a ugly, hideous man.The last friend, Jenn, goes to meet and God and he tells her the same thing. "DON'T STEP on the more...

Sarah Palin has a new job on Fox. Expected to deliver short, 30-second political commentary pieces, most people are betting she’ll pull out after 15seconds.

Sarah and her thirteen-year-old sister had been fighting a
lot this year. (This happens when you combine a headstrong
two-year-old, who is sure she is always right, with a young
adolescent.) Sarah’s parents, trying to take advantage of
her newfound interest in Santa Claus, reminded the
two-year-old that Santa was watching and doesn’t like it
when children fight. This had little impact.
“I’ll just have to tell Santa about your misbehavior, ” the
mother said as she picked up the phone and dialed. Sarah’s
eyes grew big as her mother asked “Mrs. Claus” (really
Sarah’s aunt; Santa’s real line was busy) if she could put
Santa on the line. Sarah’s mouth dropped open as Mom
described to Santa (Sarah’s uncle) how the two-year-old was
acting. But, when Mom said that Santa wanted to talk to her,
she reluctantly took the phone.
Santa, in a deepened voice, explained to her how there would
be no more...

It seems they are now selling Sarah Palin action figures. Apparently birth control is not included.

Three nuns die and go to heaven where they are met by StPeter at the pearly
gates. St Pete says "Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I'm
granting you six months to go back to Earth and be anyone you want". The first
nun says "I want to be Bo Derek" and POOF she's gone. The second says "I want to
be Madonna" and POOF she's gone. The third says "I want to be Sarah Pepalini".
St Peter looks perplexed."Who?" he says."Sarah Pepalini" replies the nun. St
Peter shakes his head and says "I'm sorry, that name just doesn't ring a bell."
The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St Peter. He
reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says "No
Sister, this says SaharaPipelinelaid by 500 men in 7
days!"

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin's husband has refused to testify in the investigation of his wife's alleged abuse of power. I bet the self-described "hockey mom" threatened to keep hubby's stick out of the crease.

At their high school reunion Sarah and Esther meet up for the first time in fifty years.

Sarah begins to tell Esther about her children: "My son is a doctor and he's got four kids. My daughter is married to a lawyer and they have three great kids. So tell me Esther, how about your kids?"

Esther replies, "Unfortunately, Morty and I don't have any children and so we have no grandchildren either."

Sarah says, "No children.... and no grandchildren! So tell me, Esther, what do you do for aggravation?"