Sardarji Jokes / Recent Jokes

Punjab Engineering & Medical Entrance Exam
Time Limit: 3 Weeks
1. What language is spoken in Tamil Nadu?
2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.
3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to
(a) build a bridge
(b) sail the ocean
(c) lead an army or
(d) WRITE A PLAY
4. What religion is the Pope?
(a) Jewish
(b) Catholic
(c) Hindu
(d) Polish
(e) Agnostic (check only one)
5. Metric conversion. How many feet is 0. 0 meters?
6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5?
7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)
8. What are people in India's far north called?
(a) Westerners
(b) Southerners
(c) Northerners
9. Spell -- Bush, Carter and Clinton
10. Six kings of India have been called Akbar, the more...

Banta Singh was walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the wall.
It read "Padne waala gadha." (One who reads it is an ass.)
Santa Singh thought for an hour, erased it and wrote back, "Likhene waala gadha" (One who wrote it is an ass).

Ujaagar boarded a crowded bus with a bagful of purchases. There was no vacant seat. As the old bus rattled and swayed, he supported himself precariously, holding the bag in one hand, the other hand holding the bar provided near the ceiling.

'Ticket. .. ticket. .. ticket,' the conductor made several rounds past Ujaagar. His wallet in his hip pocket and both hands engaged, Ujaagar didn't know what to do.

'Ticket, Sardarji,' the conductor asked again. Ujaagar thrust the bag into the conductor's hand and struggled to take the wallet out, when the conductor protested:' I can't be carrying passengers' baggage like this - I'm the conductor, after all!'

'Okay, then give me the bag, and here, will you please hold the bar,' replied Ujaagar.

A notorious tiger was on the prowl, terrorizing a village. So the villagers held a high level meeting to put down this tiger menace. A brave Sardarji stood up twisting his moustache and flexing his muscles, "I can tackle this maneater single-handed," he boasted. "Give me a cowhide and remember," he roared, "not a single soul should venture out tonight. Leave the rest to me." Now, disguised as a cow he stood as a bait waiting to ambush the tiger. Hours passed; suddenly the villagers heard someone screaming in great agony. They all dashed to the spot, only to find the Sardarji lying on the ground groaning and bleeding profusely. One of them asked the Sardarji, "What's the matter? Did you manage to kill the Tiger?" Already the villagers had begun shouting, "Sardarji jindabad, Sardarji jindabad."
"Stop, you idiots, traitors," he screamed. "Tell me first whose bull was it, whose bull was loose tonight!"

A sardarji was working as editor in a daily newspaper. Once he was traveling to bombay to deliver a speech about railway department
Improvements. His coach was the last coach in the train. The train was moving very fast and so sardarji's coach was jerking heavily. This made
Him not to prepare for the speech.

Annoyed by the event, next day in the meeting, his first point
Towards improvement of railway department was

""there should not be last coach in any train.""

A fourth son was born in the home of a minister's family. The father invited his sardar friend to join the celebration and choose a name for the newborn child.' What name have you given to the three older boys?', asked the sardarji
'One is Rahmat Elahi (by God's kindness), the second, Barket Elahi (by God's grace), and the third, Mahbub Elahi (beloved of God),' replied the proud father.
The sardarji pondered over the name for a while and replied,' I suggest you name your fourth son, Bas Kar Elahi (God, that is enough).'

A Punjabi Sardar and a Bengali Babu were talking about their State's patriotic history during the freedom struggle. The debate heated up and both ended up claiming that their state had the maximum number of freedom fighters. They finally agreed on a method to find which of the states had more freedom fighters. Each person would say the name of a freedom fighter from his state and pull one hair out of his opponents head. Both of them began earnestly. "Bhagat Singh" said the Sardar and pulled one hair from the Bengali. "Netaji" said the Bengali and did the same. They continued like this for some time, but soon exhausted all known freedom fighters. The Bengali, however, was very clever. He used Sardar's ignorance and reeled off a lot of imaginary names. The Punjabi was stuck. He did not know any more Punjabi freedom fighter's name. He thought deeply for a moment, jumped on the Bengali's head and pulled all his hair out shouting - "JallianWala Bagh".