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The Roadrunner was feeling very amorous one day, and since there were no other female roadrunners around, he decided to look around.
He happened to spot a lovely dove. Bzzzzzz… down he goes and feathers are flying, lots of dust in the air and the dazed dove is lying there with a smile and says, “I’m a dove and I’ve been loved! ”
The Roadrunner is still not satisfied. He spots a Lark flying around and zooms down on her. Again, feathers are flying around and dust is in the air and the dazed Lark is lying there and said, “I’m a Lark and I’ve been sparked”
The Roadrunner is still not satisfied and spots a Duck. He zooms down and again feathers are flying and a lot of squawkings and dust flying in the air, and the roadrunner takes off.
The Duck is lying there really pissed off, and says “I’m a Drake and there’s been a mistake! ”

The preacher's Sunday service focused on 'forgiving your enemies'. After a lengthy sermon, he asked his congregation how many of them were willing to forgive their enemies. Only about half of them held up their hands.
Not satisfied, he harangued the congregation for another half an hour, then repeated his question. This time, he received a response of 90 percent.
Still not satisfied, he lectured for several more minutes and repeated his question again. Growing weary, everyone responded except for one old gentleman in the rear.
"Mr. Hudson, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" the preacher bellowed.
"I don't have any," answered the old man.
"Mr. Hudson, that is most unusual. How old are you?" inquired the preacher.
"I'm 93," the old man replied.
"Mr. Hudson, please come up to the front and explain to the congregation how a man can live to be ninety-three years old and not have an enemy in the world," more...

The Roadrunner was feeling very amorous one day, and since there were no other female roadrunners around, he decided to look around. He happened to spot a lovely dove. Bzzzzzz... down he goes and feathers are flying, lots of dust in the air and the dazed dove is lying there with a smile and says, "I'm a dove and I've been loved!" The Roadrunner is still not satisfied. He spots a Lark flying around and zooms down on her. Again, feathers are flying around and dust is in the air and the dazed Lark is lying there and said, "I'm a Lark and I've been sparked" The Roadrunner is still not satisfied and spots a Duck. He zooms down and again feathers are flying and a lot of squawkings and dust flying in the air, and the roadrunner takes off. The Duck is lying there really pissed off, and says "I'm a Drake and there's been a mistake!"

Had they spoken Computer lingo, this would be what the Sri Lankan political leaders might be saying:
Chandrika Kumaratunge: Why should I be the one who gets all the blaming whenever the computer goes down? UNP had misused it for 17 years and when given to me, it was in a real bad shape. See what I have done to improve its performance within just four years. Haven't I fixed a brand new screen filter? Haven't I given it a brand new mouse pad?
Ranil Wickremasinghe: She promised a Pentium and gave you a damn 286; She promised a 56k modem and gave only an outdated 14. 4k one; She promised 64MB RAM and now tells you to be satisfied with 8MB. So why don't you vote for me? I'll give everyone of you a brand new Pentium III with grand multimedia kits.
Anura Bandaranaike: That blue computer sucks. It has no processing power at all. The only working part it has is its' MOTHER BOARD'.
Wimal Weerawansa(JVP): As a party, JVP vehemently opposes violence. We do not even allow our more...

Michael the Dragon Master was an official in King Arthur's court. He had a long-standing obsession to nuzzle the beautiful Queen's voluptuous breasts. But he knew the penalty for this would be death.
One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio, who was the King's chief physician. Horatio said, "I can arrange it, but I will need 1,000 gold coins to pay bribes." Michael the Dragon Master readily agreed.
The next day Horatio made up a batch of itching powder and poured a little of it into the Queen's brassiere while she was taking a bath. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew in intensity. Upon being called to the royal chambers, Horatio told the King that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown such a saliva was only to be found in Michael the Dragon Master's mouth.
King Arthur summoned Michael the Dragon Master. Michael the Dragon Master slipped the antidote more...