Affected Jokes

The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where they were spending the first night of their honeymoon. They opened the champagne and began undressing. When the bridegroom removed his socks, his new wife asked, "Ewww - what's wrong with your feet? Your toes look all mangled and weird. Why are your feet so gross?" "I had tolio as a child," he answered. "You mean polio?" she asked. "No, tolio. The disease only affected my toes." The bride was satisfied with this explanation, and they continued undressing. When the groom took off his pants, his bride once again wrinkled up her nose. "What's wrong with your knees?" She asked. "They're all lumpy and deformed!" "As a child, I also had kneasles," he explained. "You mean measles?" she asked. "No, kneasles. It was a strange illness that only affected my knees." The new bride had to be satisfied with this answer. As the undressing continued, more...

You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat, than U.S. nuclear weapons technology, in the hands of Chinese communists.
You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.
You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.
You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand.
You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who've never been outside of more...