Saw Jokes / Recent Jokes

A young doctor was attached to a senior to gain practical insight into practice. The fresher told the senior that the seniors were not abreast with the latest trend in medical science. The senior advised the young doctor to be observant on the visits. In the first visit, the patient was a young man. After the preliminary examination, the doctor advised the young man to give up smoking. When they were outside the young doctor questioned on what basis he tendered that advise, the senior replied there were cigarette butts, ashes strewn all over the room.
The second patient was a young lady. The senior after completing preliminaries directed her to stop eating sweets and chocolates. Again when questioned, the senior commented he saw chocolate and sweet wrappers strewn in the room. Upon the third visit, the senior surprised the younger doctor requesting him to examine the patient, a young lady. Through sheer nervousness the young doctor dropped the stethoscope. After the preliminaries more...

What do you call an eternity? Four blondes in four cars at a four way stop. Why do blondes have TGIF written on their shoes? Toes Go In FirstThree blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for four hours, they saw a sign that said "Disneyland left." So they turned around and went home. What do smart blondes and UFOs have in common? You always hear about them but never see them. What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios? Oh, look, Daddy.... doughnut seeds! Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice? Because it said concentrate. Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms? They think their picture is being taken. How can you tell when a blonde sends you a fax? It has a stamp on it. Why can't blondes dial 911? They can't find the 11 on the phone. What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run, she's got a grenade in her mouth! How can you tell if a blonde's been using your computer? There is white-out all over the more...

There was this village lost in the depth of the Kumaon hills. No one visited it and none of its inhabitants had gone out to see what the rest of the world looked like. Then suddenly one villager won a lottery which gave him a free ticket to see three big cities of India. The entire village was agog with excitement. They gave their co-villager a pen and a pad and said, "You make a note of whatever you see in everyone of the three cities you visit and come and tell us about it when you return."
The lucky villager was first taken to Delhi and shown the Kutub Minar. In his pad he noted down "Kutub Minar". The next city he went to was Jaipur. There he saw many camels and faithfully recorded "camel". The third city was Ahmedabad where he saw lots of donkeys. He recorded "donkey". When he returned to his village, he told everyone of the wonderful things he had seen. Some months later a camel strayed into the village. They ran to the man who had more...

Similarities BRA and BAR
Both are drinking joints. Both have restriction time on closing and opening timings Both are flashy. When open, both drive men mad.
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Why women wear undergarments with flowers printed on them?
To pay tribute to men who got buried under them
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Why was the sardar arrested in the political rally?
Because he saw a lady journalist going with a badge on her chest which said' PRESS' and he did
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There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box.
The Female pencil got pregnant! !
Which Male pencil is responsible?
THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER
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Three Roosters: normal, retarded and a gay.
Normal: cock-a-doodle-dooo! !!
Retarded: doodle-cock-a-dooo! !!
Gay: any-cock-will more...

THE KILTED SCOTSMANA kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path after finishing off a considerable amount of whiskey at a local pub. As he staggered down the road, he felt quite sleepy and decided to take a nap, with his back against a tree. As he slept, two young lasses walked down the road and heard the Scotsman snoring loudly. They saw him, and one said, "I've always wondered what a Scotsman wears under his kilt." She boldly walked over to the sleeping man, raised his kilt, and saw what nature had provided him at his birth. Her friend said, "Well, he has solved a great mystery for us, now! He must be rewarded!" So, she took a blue ribbon from her hair, and gently tied it around what nature had provided the Scotsman, and the two walked away. Some time later, the Scotsman was awakened by the call of nature, and walked around to the other side of the tree to relieve himself. He raised his kilt... and saw where the blue ribbon was tied. After several moments of more...

A drunk decides to go ice fishing, so he gathers his gear and goes walking around until he finds a big patch of ice. He heads into the center of the ice and begins to saw a hole. All of sudden, a loud booming voice comes out of the sky.
"You will find no fish under that ice."
The drunk looks around, but sees no one. He starts sawing again. Once more, the voice speaks.
"As I said before, there are no fish under the ice."
The drunk looks all around, high and low, but can't see a single soul. He picks up the saw and tries one more time to finish. Before he can even start cutting, the huge voice interrupts.
"I have warned you three times now. There are no fish!"
The drunk is now flustered and somewhat scared, so he asks the voice, "How do you know there are no fish? Are you God trying to warn me?"
"No," the voice replied. "I am the manager of this hockey rink."

The Perfect Husband...

Several men are in the changing room of a golf club.
A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and began to talk.
Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Darling, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I am at the shopping centre and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only Rs. 1, 000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure,.. go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "Rs7, 00, 000"
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. .. The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking
Rs. 11, 50, 000"

MAN: "Well, more...