Scare Jokes

You can't scare me, I have children.

1. Stand perfectly still at the front window until someone on the street notices you. Quickly pull the blinds down, then, seconds later, peer around the blinds at them. Proceed until they a) Go away, or b) Call the police.
2. Play the same CD on every stereo in the house at once. Try to synchronize them.
3. SCARE YOUR PETS!!! Then cuddle them. THEN SCARE THEM AGAIN!!! Then cuddle them. Ahh, a nice, quiet cuddle-SCARE!!! No baby, it's okay... SCARE!!! If they run away, they'll be back, for food; make sure you're ready for action when they return.
4. Sit on the front porch with a bottle of scotch. Yell abuse at pedestrians. Say nonsense. Wave your arms. Yell. For bonus points, colour a tooth black beforehand.
5. Hide in the bushes near your mailbox and wait for the mailman to arrive. When he reaches for the mailbox, scream as loud as you can. If he tries again, scream again.
6. Report a robbery to the police. When they arrive and ask what was stolen, reply "Only more...

Why did the scare crow pull down his pance?
because he saw a leaf blower coming.

There is a man who goes out drinking all the time and comes home very later every night. So one night his wife decides to teach him a lesson. She dresses up like Satan, and decides to hide in the dark, and scare him when he gets home. The man comes home, and his wife jumps out and screams in his face. He just looks at her and says,' 'You don't scare me I am married to your sister!'''

A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises from inside the aprtment, walks inside to find his wife on the floor of the living room naked. Wife yells, "help, help, I am having a heart attack", the husband runs in the other room to call the doctor when one of his kids run up to him and says "daddy, daddy, there is a naked man in the closet", husband opens the closet door and sees his friend Bob.
He yells at Bob, "Bob, damn it, my wife is having a heart attack and here you are trying to scare the kids"!!!