Scene Jokes / Recent Jokes
And Joseph went up from Galilee to Bethlehem with Mary, his
espoused wife, who was great with child. And she brought forth a
Son and wrapped Him in swaddling clothes and laid Him in a manger
because there was no room for them in the inn.
And the angel of the Lord spoke to the shepherds and said, "I
bring you tidings of great joy. Unto you is born a Savior, which
is Christ the Lord."
"There's a problem with the angel, said a Pharisee, who happened
to be strolling by.
As he explained to Joseph, angels are widely regarded as religious
symbols, and the stable was on public property, where such symbols
were not allowed to land, or even hover. "And I have to tell you,
this whole thing looks to me very much like a Nativity scene, he
said sadly. "That's a no-no, too.
Joseph had a bright idea, "What if I put a couple of reindeer over
there near the ox and the ass? he more...
THE TRAGIC COMEDIE OF KING LEER
Scene 1. A forest glen. Enter Witch Tripp and Kenneth of Starr.
Witch Tripp:
Double, double, Webster Hubbell,
I think I got the Creep in trouble.
Eye of Newt, strap of bra,
Could it be he broke some law?
Praise this broth utmost ephemeral,
Heavens! I left out my Essence of Emeril!
Hark! Who trespasses so near?
Kenneth of Starr:' Tis I, the Inquisitor. What news?
Witch Tripp: Things proceed with quickening speed, m'lord. The maiden
Lewinsky, so deeply embroil'd, is now join'd by the Lady Willey in like
pursuit. Daily tightens the noose around the king.
Starr: Would that it were so, but he hath good counsel, and more moves
than a chess board. His public, well pleas'd with good news of the
economie, doth o'erlook much.
Witch Tripp: How may I serve you next?
Starr: I have need of acts damnable and facts verifiable. Else more...
The setting is a quiet and serene country stream weaving through the gentle hills of a grassy plain. All is quiet and still, and, lo, a small fly hovers a few inches above the quiet waters of the stream.
Beneath the water floats a small fish. The fish thinks to itself, if that fly just drops two inches, I will be able to jump out of the water and catch it.
Now, standing on the bank of the stream lurks a bear. The bear looks at the scene and thinks to itself, if that fly drops just two inches, then the fish will jump out of the water to catch it, and I will be able to dash into the stream and snap up the fish in my mouth.
Crouching nearby the stream, in the tall grass, waits a hunter. The hunter looks at the scene and thinks to himself, if that fly drops just two inches, then the fish will spring out of the water to catch it, then bear will dash out into the river, and I'll get a clear shot at the bear.
Sitting at the entrance to its hole, is a small field mouse. more...
Have you ever wondered what would be in "Titanic" if the same was made in "Bollywood"? The name of the movie would be "Goa to Bombay". Well here it goes!
Madhuri has to be Rose and who else but Shahrukh as JJJJJ JJJ Jack. Madhuri's fiance would be Gulshan Grover who mutters "Bad Man" everytime he sees Shahrukh.
Amitabh Bacchan would make a guest appearance as the Ship's captain and would be waltzing with Madhuri during the party. Of course, he would not die.
Shahrukh will be travelling with his sister and 5 other chamchas from college plus 50 extras who are well trained with every dance sequence in the world.
The movie would only last for 7 hours. Thanks to great piece of editing, there would be only 22 songs in the movie out of 30 in CD album.
The ship would be overflowing with extras whom you normally find in movies that have a court scene full of people or a slum full of aam-janta. more...
An Amish man named Samuel was injured when he and his horse were struck by a car at an intersection. Samuel sued the driver of the car. In court, he was cross-examined by the driver's lawyer:
Lawyer: Samuel, you've told us all about your injuries. However, according to the accident report, you told the investigating officer at the scene that you weren't injured at all, isn't that true?"
Samuel: Well... let me explain.
Lawyer: Go right ahead (thinking he now had the plaintiff on the ropes). Please tell the jury.
Samuel: When the officer arrived at the scene, he first looked upon my fallen horse. Finding him injured, the officer said to me, 'Looks like he has a broken leg,' and then he took out his weapon and shot my horse dead. Then the officer came up me and asked me how I was doing.
Of course, I immediately replied, 'I'm OK!'
The setting is a quiet and serene country stream weaving through the gentle hills of a grassy plain. All is quiet and still, and, lo, a small fly hovers a few inches above the quiet waters of the stream.
Beneath the water floats a small fish. The fish thinks to itself, if that fly just drops two inches, I will be able to jump out of the water and catch it.
Now, standing on the bank of the stream lurks a bear. The bear looks at the scene and thinks to itself, if that fly drops just two inches, then the fish will jump out of the water to catch it, and I will be able to dash into the stream and snap up the fish in my mouth.
Crouching nearby the stream, in the tall grass, waits a hunter. The hunter looks at the scene and thinks to himself, if that fly drops just two inches, then the fish will spring out of the water to catch it, then bear will dash out into the river, and I'll get a clear shot at the bear.
Sitting at the entrance to its hole, is more...
The setting is a quiet and serene country stream weaving through the gentle hills of a grassy plain. All is quiet and still, and, lo, a small fly hovers a few inches above the quiet waters of the stream. Beneath the water floats a small fish. The fish thinks to itself, if that fly just drops two inches, I will be able to jump out of the water and catch it. Now, standing on the bank of the stream lurks a bear. The bear looks at the scene and thinks to itself, if that fly drops just two inches, then the fish will jump out of the water to catch it, and I will be able to dash into the stream and snap up the fish in my mouth. Crouching nearby the stream, in the tall grass, waits a hunter. The hunter looks at the scene and thinks to himself, if that fly drops just two inches, then the fish will spring out of the water to catch it, then bear will dash out into the river, and I'll get a clear shot at the bear. Sitting at the entrance to its hole, is a small field mouse. Looking at the scene, more...