Scope Jokes / Recent Jokes

Makes one think, and puts things in perspective:
Diet Snapple....16 oz $1.29... $10.32 per gallon
Lipton Ice Tea..16 oz $1.19... $ 9.52 per gallon
Gatorade... 20 oz $1.59... $10.17 per gallon
Ocean Spray... 16 oz $1.25... $10.00 per gallon
Brake Fluid... 12 oz $3.15... $33.60 per gallon
Vick's Nyquil... 6 oz $8.35... $178.13 per gallon
Pepto Bismol... 4 oz $3.85... $123.20 per gallon
Whiteout... 7 oz $1.39... $25.42 per gallon
Scope... 1.5 oz $0.99... $84.48 per gallon
and this is the REAL KICKER...
>Evian water 9 oz for $1.49... $21.19 per gallon.
$21.19 FOR WATER!....and the buyers don't even know the source. Yes, and the name Evian, is Naive turned around, and the Canadians are selling it by the millions of gallons to the US.
So, the next time you're at the pump, be glad your car doesn't run on water, Scope, or Whiteout, or God forbid, PEPTO BISMOL or NYQUIL!!!
Just a little humor to help ease the pain of your next trip to the more...

Part 1
------
A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for
his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to
show him a scope. The clerk takes out a scope, and says to
the man, "This scope is so good, you can see my house all
the way up on that hill". The man takes a look through the
scope, and starts laughing. "What's so funny?" asks the
clerk "I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in
the house", the man replies.
The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his
house. Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, "Here
are two bullets, I'll give you this scope for nothing if you
take these two bullets, shoot my wife's head off and shoot
the guy's dick off". The man takes another look through the
scope, and says, "You know what? I think I can do that with
one shot!"

Part 2
------
Three women more...

People have been complaining about the rising price of gasoline recently, but I have always thought that gas was a good value (especially if you were to take the $0. 30, $0. 40 per gallon tax off at the pump)! Obviously others need a little convincing. So the article in this week's "Autoweek" magazine brought it all to light. What if you were to buy a gallon of. . . - Diet Snapple 16 oz for $1. 29 = $10. 32 per gallon - Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz for $1. 19 = $9. 52 per gallon - Gatorade 20 oz for $1. 59 = $10. 17 per gallon - Ocean Spray 16 oz for $1. 25 = $10. 00 per gallon - Quart of Milk 16 oz for $1. 59 = $6. 32 per gallon - Evian (water) 9 oz for $1. 49 = $21. 19 per gallon - STP Brake Fluid 12 oz for $3. 15 = $33. 60 per gallon - Vicks Nyquil 6 oz for $8. 35 = $178. 13 per gallon - Pepto Bismol 4 oz for $3. 85 = $123. 20 per gallon - Whiteout 7 oz for $1. 39 = $254. 17 per gallon - Scope 1. 5 oz for $0. 99 = $84. 84 per gallon So next time you're at the pump, be glad your more...

A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show him a scope.
The clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man, "This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that hill."
The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing.
"What's so funny?" asks the clerk.
"I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in the house." the man replies.
The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his house. Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, "Here are two bullets, I'll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife's head off and shoot the guy's dick off."
The man takes another look through the scope and says, "You know what? I think I can do that with one shot!"

Chet Wolford tells this one:
An Erie, Pennsylvania executive with a new young wife and a yen for golf
decided about December one year that he couldn't take it any longer. So he
said to his wife one evening, "Honey, next Friday we're going to Hilton Head
for the weekend. We'll get a condo on the golf course and I'm going to play
golf all weekend."
"That sounds fine," she purred. And, sure enough, next Saturday morning at 6
a.m., found him on the golf course, all alone. After playing two holes, he
noticed a man carrying a golf bag walking toward him across a fairway. The
exec. waited, and the other man arrived, saying, "Mind if I play along?"
The exec. said, "Fine. Glad to have the company."
All went well for a couple of holes, until each approached the sixth green.
When the new fellow laid down his clubs, the cover came off one club. The
exec. noticed, however, that it wasn't a club at all. It more...