Scores Jokes / Recent Jokes
A Pakistani soldier was caught trespassing in the private quarter of a home. The houseowner hauled him out into the street and both he and his son began to thrash him. A passerby joined them. The military police rescued the soldier and arrested the three men. They were arraigned before a military court.
Assaulting a man in military uniform is a very serious crime, punishable by death,' said the presiding officer to the three accused.' What explanations have you to offer as extenuating circumstances?'
The elderly houseowner replied:' Sir, I caught this man trying to molest my daughter. The honour of a Pakistani daughter is more sacred than one's life.'
'Quite right!', agreed the presiding officer.' And what do you have to say?', He asked the houseowner's son.
'Sir, this fellow was. trying to take liberties with my sister. The honour of a Pakistani sister is more precious that one's life/ he replied.
'Quite right!' agreed the presiding officer, and turned to the more...
There are TWO teams, with eleven players each (instead of nine as in baseball).
Instead of four bases, there are only two; in the middle of the field, sixty-six feet apart... all running is between the two bases... the ball can be hit in front, OR behind... or, in ANY direction.
Instead of rotating batting for nine innings each, EACH team does all its batting in a SINGLE inning.
The team scoring more runs wins the game.
[NOTE: Unlike baseball, where a pitcher rests every 10 or so pitches when the BATTING rotates, cricket pitchers rest every 6 pitches as their PITCHING rotates.]
The fielding team works with TWO pitchers at the same time.
The first pitcher throws from one base to the other. After six throws, the catcher moves around behind the first pitcher's base, pitcher #2 takes over. He makes six throws in the opposite direction (i. e. towards the starting pitcher's base). The two pitchers keep more...
Stupid Things Said In The World Of Soccer:
1. Well, it's Liverpool two, Ipswich nil, and if the score stays this way, I've got to fancy Liverpool for the win.
2. He had an eternity to play that ball, but took too long.
3. And so they have not been able to improve on their 100% record.
4. With the last kick of the game, he scored with a header.
5. Well, it's a fabulous kaleidescope of colour: almost all the Brazilians are wearing yellow shirts.
6. If that had gone on, it would definitely have been a goal.
7. Their manager, Howard Wilkinson, isn't here today, which strongly suggests that he may be elsewhere.
8. I am a firm believer that if one team scores a goal, the other needs to score two to win.
9. If a team scores early on, it often takes an early lead.
10. You cannot possibly have counted the number of passes made, but there were eight.
i have to type these jokes one after the other or my scores ill be to low and i cant type any more