Determine Jokes

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to steer to the airport.
The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter's window. The pilot's sign said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters.
People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER OVER SEATTLE."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to the Seattle airport, and landed safely.
After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position?
The pilot responded "I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT more...

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to steer to the airport.
The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter's window. The pilot's sign said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters.
People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window.
Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER OVER SEATTLE."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to the Seattle airport, and landed safely.
After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position?
The pilot responded "I knew that had to be the more...

Confucius Says:War does not determine who's right. War determine who's left.Man who sleeps on road, wakes up feeling run down.Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out." A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose. When called an idiot sometimes is better to be quiet, than open mouth and remove all doubt.Marriage is like game of poker. You start with pair and end with full house.He who thinks only of number one must remember this number is next to nothingMan who cut self while shaving, lose face.People who make Confucius joke speak bad English.

War does not determine who is right – only who is left. — George Bernard Shaw

What do you use to determine if a refrigerated burger is cold enough? A thermomeater!