Scout Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Girl Scout troop leader suddenly came upon a clearing where a young couple was engaged in oral sex. "Back ladies, back!" cried the leader. "There's a very dangerous beast out there!"But it was too late, as several of her girls had more-or-less seen the deed happening. They asked their leader what it was the couple was doing."Well, err... if you must know, uh, they were practicing a brand new form of artificial respiration... yeah, that's it, it's artificial respiration!""WOW!" exclaimed the oldest of the group. "I know which merit badge I'm gonna try for next!"

An airplane was about to crash, and there were 5 Passengers left, but only 4 parachutes.
The first passenger, Bill Clinton said "I am president of the United States, and I have a great responsibility, being the leader of nearly 300 million people, and a superpower, etc.," so he takes the first parachute, and jumps out of the plane.
The second passenger, said I'm Antoine Walker, one the best NBA Basketball players, and the Boston Celtics need me, so I can't afford to die so he takes the second parachute, and leaves the plane.
The third passenger, Hillary Clinton, said "I am the wife of the President of the United States, a soon to be New York Senator, and I am the smartest woman in the world," so she takes the third parachute and exits the plane.
The fourth passenger, Pope John Paul the second, says to the fifth passenger, a 10 year old boy scout, I am old and frail and I don't have many years left, so as a Christian gesture and good deed, I will more...

Fun thing to do in an elevator... Sell Girl Scout cookies.

A Scout Master was teaching his boy scouts about survival in the desert.' 'What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost in the desert?'' he asked. Several hands went up, and many important things were suggested such as food, matches, etc. Then one little boy in the back eagerly raised his hand.' 'Yes, Timmy, what are the three most important things you would bring with you?'' asked the Scout Master. Timmy replied,' 'A compass, a canteen of water, and a deck of cards.''

''Why's that Timmy?''

''Well,'' answered Timmy,' 'the compass is to find the right direction, the water is to prevent dehydration...''

''And what about the deck of cards?'' asked the Scout Master.' 'Well, Sir, as soon as you start playing Solitaire, someone is bound to come up behind you and say,' 'Put that red nine on top of that black ten!''

A Scout Master was teaching his boy scouts about survival in the desert.

"What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost in the desert?" he asked.

Several hands went up, and many important things were suggested such as food, matches, etc. Then one little boy in the back eagerly raised his hand.

"Yes, Timmy, what are the three most important things you would bring with you?" asked the Scout Master.

Timmy replied, "A compass, a canteen of water, and a deck of cards."

"Why's that Timmy?"

"Well," answered Timmy, "the compass is to find the right direction, the water is to prevent dehydration..."

"And what about the deck of cards?" asked the Scout Master.

"Well, Sir, as soon as you start playing Solitaire, someone is bound to come up behind you and say, "Put that red nine on top of more...

Three guys, the American captain, an Australian and a Japanese guy are shipwrecked on an island.
On reaching shore, the American asks the Australian to find a good spot for a camp.
He turns to the Japanese guy and says to go into the bush and get supplies.
'I'll scout the island and we'll meet at the camp at dusk,' said the captain.
The captain returns to find the Australian has set up camp but the Japanese guy hadn't returned.
'Where's that Jap with the supplies?' said the captain.
The night passes and still there is no sign of the Jap with the supplies, so they go looking for him.
They scout the whole island but can't find him.
Just as they are returning to camp, the Jap jumps out from behind a tree and shouts, 'Surplize, surplize.'

A Girl Scout troop leader suddenly came upon a clearing where a young couple was engaged in oral sex. "Back ladies, back!" cried the leader. "There's a very dangerous beast out there!"But it was too late, as several of her girls had more-or-less seen the deed happening. They asked their leader what it was the couple was doing."Well, err.... if you must know, uh, they were practicing a brand new form of artificial respiration... yeah, that's it, it's artificial respiration!""WOW!" exclaimed the oldest of the group. "I know which merit badge I'm gonna try for next!"