Sea Jokes / Recent Jokes

Little Brother: I'm going to buy a sea horse.

Big Brother: Why?

Little Brother: Because I want to play water polo!

A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch. The seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off." "Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"? "Well", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off." "Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eye patch"? "A seagull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate."You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?," the sailor asked incredulously. "Well," said the pirate, "it was my first day with my hook"

A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, an hook, and an eye patch. The seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" The pirate replies "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept over board into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off." "Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"?" Well...", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords when one of the enemy cut my hand off." "Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eye patch"?" A seagull dropping fell into my eye.", replied the pirate." You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked increduously." Well...", said the pirate, ".. it was also my first day with the hook."

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls (bagels, get it?).

One sunny day on the North Sea a creative little boy was playing in the sand trying to decide what to make. He discovered some Scheiss (you can guess what that is) on the beach so he decided to make a VoPo (People`s Policeman). Just as he was finishing, along comes a VoPo, trying to make sure no one swims to Denmark. He decides to ask the little boy what that ugly thing made of Scheiss is. The little boy responds: "It`s a VoPo!" So the officer beats him.
The next day, the boy is on the beach making the same creation when that same officer comes along and sees the boy is playing with the Scheiss again, and asks what he is doing. The boy responds "I`m making another VoPo!" So the officer beats him.
The day after that, the officer is strolling the beach, sees the boy playing just with sand, and is glad to see he has switched his medium. So he asks boldly "what are you making today?" The boy responds: "A G. I.!" The officer asks: "And more...

A merchant asked a sailor, "Where did your father died?"
"He drowned at sea."
"And your grandfather?"
"At sea too."
"Aren't you afraid of the sea?"
The sailor retorted, "Where did your father died?"
"In bed."
"And your grandfather?"
"In bed too."
"Aren't you afraid to go to bed every night where your father and grandfather died?"

How do you make milk shake?
Give it a good scare!

Do you know the time?
No, we haven’t met yet!

What sleeps at the bottom of the sea?
A kipper!

What lies at the bottom of the sea and shivers?
A nervous wreck!

What soldiers smell of salt and pepper?
Seasoned troopers!

Did you hear about the man who had BO on one side only?
He bought Right Guard, but couldn’t find any Left Guard!

What has two humps and is found at the North Pole?
A lost camel!