Sea Jokes / Recent Jokes

Owed Two A Spell Chequer:
Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

Two Kids Were Boasting About Their Fathers. First Kid: Have You Heard Of The Suez Canal? Second Kid: Yes, I Have. First Kid:
My Father Dug It. Second Kid: Have You Heard Of The Dead Sea? First Kid: Yes, I Have. Second Kid: My Father Killed It.

One day a blonde went to a sea food restaurant and saw the tank where they kept the lobsters. She took pity on these creatures and hid them in her purse. Later she went to the woods to set the poor animals free.

There was this male engineer, on a cruise ship in the Caribbean for the first time. It was wonderful, the experience of his life. He was being waited on hand and foot. But, it did not last. A Hurricane came up unexpectedly. The ship went down almost instantly. The man found himself, he knew not how, swept up on the shore of an island. There was nothing else anywhere to be seen. No person, no supplies, nothing. The man looked around. There were some bananas and coconuts, but that was it. He was desperate, and forlorn, but decided to make the best of it. So for the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice and mostly looked to the sea mightily for a ship to come to his rescue. One day, as he was lying on the beach stroking his beard and looking for a ship, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. Could it be true, was it a ship? No, from around the corner of the island came this rowboat. In it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen, or at least seen in 4 more...

Earlier this year, the dazed crew of a Japanese Trawler were recovered off the Sea of Japan clinging to the wreckage of their ship. Their rescue, however, was followed by immediate imprisonment once authorities questioned the sailors on their ship's loss.

They claimed that a cow, falling out of the clear blue sky, had struck the trawler amidships, shattering it's hull and sinking the vessel within minutes.

They remained in prison for several weeks, until the Russian Air Force reluctantly informed Japanese authorities that the crew of one of its cargo planes had apparently stolen a cow wandering at the edge of a Siberian airfield. They forced the cow into the plane's hold and hastily departed for home.

Unprepared for live cargo, the Russian crew was ill-equipped to manage a rampaging cow within its hold. To save the aircraft and themselves, they shoved the animal out of the cargo hold as they crossed the Sea of Japan at an altitude of 30, 000 feet.

One day, a Chinese, a Japanese and a Burmese were sailing on a ship in a sea. Suddenly, their boat was stopped by the guardian of the sea. And he told them if they want to continue their journey, they will have to decide which one of them must sacrifice his life by diving and drowning into the sea until his dead. Left with no choice the Captain suggested, "Ok, I will ask you some questions about the history of Titanic. Those who can answer the questions correctly will survive." The Captain asked, "When did Titanic sink in the Atlantic?". "Well, it was Sunday, 14th of April, 1912." the Chinese guy quickly answered. "Well done, now how many passengers were on board and how many lost during the disaster?". "2, 207 were on board and 1, 502 lives were lost." the Japanese guy answered after thinking for a while. "Well done," The Captain said, "now you Burmese guy tell me the names of those passengers who died during the more...

A man finds a lamp and decides to rub the dust off. Then, you guessed it, a Genie appears. The Genie tells the man he will grant him three wishes, but everything the man gets, his mother-in-law gets twice.

The man's first wish is for 10 million dollars. The Genie reminds the man that his mother-in-law will get 20 million dollars.

The man says, "that's ok."

The man's next wish is for a house by the sea.

Once again, the Genie reminds the man that his mother-in-law will get two houses by the sea; once again, the man says, "that's okay."

The man's last wish is to be beaten half to death!