Sell Jokes / Recent Jokes

DEFINING SOCIETIES VIA THE OWNERSHIP OF 2 COWS
FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and as many eggs as the regulations say you should need.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the more...

A man was reading the morning newspaper when an ad caught his eye. The ad clearly announced, "Porche For Sale. New! $500!". The man thought it was very unusual to sell a Porche for $500 and figured it was probably a joke, but thought he'd check it out anyhow.
He went to the house of the woman who was selling the Porche and she led him into the garage. Much to his surprise, inside the garage was an almost brand new Porche.
"Wow! "Would it be all right if I take it for a test drive?" he asked, feeling sure that there must be something terribly wrong with the car.
"Sure," the woman said. Unlike what he expected, the car ran perfectly.
When he got back to her house, he asked, "Why are you selling this great car for only $500?"
The woman laughed and replied, "Well, my husband just ran off with his receptionist and he told me I could have the house and the furniture, but I was to sell his Porche and send him the more...

A man was reading the paper when an ad caught his eye. It loudly announced, "$500 Porsche! New!" The man thought that it was very unusual to sell a Porsche for $500, and he thought it might be a joke, but he said to himself, 'it's worth a shot.'
So he went to the lady's house who was selling the Porsche and she led him into the garage. Sure enough, there was an almost brand new Porsche.
"Wow!" the man said, "Can I take it for a test drive?"
"Sure," answered the lady. Unlike what he expected, the man found that the car ran perfectly.
When he got back to the lady's house, he asked her, "Why are you selling me this great Porsche for only $500?"
Then the lady replied with a laugh, "My husband just ran off with his secretary, and he told me, 'You can have the house and the furniture, just sell my Porsche and send me the money.' "

A woman was looking for a used car to buy and saw an ad in the classifieds. It read: Brand new 1995 Mercedes Benz, slate blue, loaded, etc. Sell for $150.00.

She was astonished and decided to call the seller and check it out. The woman selling the car was glad to show it to her and, to her surprise, the car was in perfect condition.

She asked the woman, "What's the catch? Why are you selling this car so cheaply?"

"Well," she said, "it's my husband's car actually, and he recently ran off with his young secretary. I got a telegram from him last week that read:' In Miami. Need money. Sell car'."

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. "Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV." Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. Frustrated, she exclaimed. "How do you know I'm a blonde?" "Because that's a microwave oven," he replied.

A blonde went into a electronic store and she asked on of the staff how much a tv was. The staff said "sorry we dont sell to blondes." She went home and the next day she came back as a brunette. She asked one of the staff "how much is that tv?" He said "sorry we dont sell to blondes."
She went home. The next day, she came back as a red head and she asked one of the staff "how much is this tv? He said "sorry we dont sell to blondes." She said "I have come back here as a brunette and a red head, how did you know i was a blonde?" He said "I know because that is not a tv, that is a microwave."

A guy worked in an adult book store. One afternoon his friend walked in. The guy said, "Dude, thank goodness you showed up!" "I'm starving, and I need you to watch the counter for me for a few minutes, while I run across the street to get some lunch." The friend looked around the store, then looked back at his friend oddly. The guy said, "Dude, don't ask any questions, just sell it to em." The friend said, "Ok". So the guy left. A customer came in, and went up to the counter. She said, "I want a vibrator. What do you have?" The friend said, "We got red ones, white ones, black ones, big ones, little ones and medium sized ones." The lady said, "I'll take a little red one to carry in my bag." He sold it to her. Another woman walked in. She approached the counter and said, "I would like a vibrator, what do you have?" The friend replied, "Red, black or white, large, medium or small. The woman asked, more...