Seminary Jokes

A young minister had just got out of the seminary, got his first church, and was preaching his first sermon. In the seminary, they had taught him that if he forgot something, just back up and repeat what he had said, and maybe it would come back to him.

He started out with a quote, "Behold, I cometh....." but he couldn't remember the rest of it.

So he trys to regain his composure, backs up an starts again... "Behold I cometh..." but he still couldn't remember.

So he rears back and shouts again, "Behold I cometh!. .." but this time he trips over the pulpit and falls right into the lap of a little old lady sitting the front row!

He was embarassed and started apologizing, but before he could finish the woman muttered...
"It isn't your fault sonny - you told me you were coming three times... I should have moved!"

A Yeshiva bocher and a seminary student met and started to compare notes about career paths.
The Yeshiva student asked, "So what happens after you graduate?" "Well" answered the seminary student, "I become a priest and if I do well I will promoted to be a Bishop" "Bishop, smishop" said the Yeshiva boy "what is so great about becoming a Bishop? " " Well, said the seminary student "if I do well as a Bishop I can be nominated to become a Cardinal ". The Yeshiva boy was still not satisfied "Cardinal, shmardinal, so you get to wear a little purple yarmulke, so what?" "You do not understand" the other one said "as a Cardinal I get sent to Rome and could even become the Pope!" "Pope, shmope" the young Jewish student said " it is not such a big deal, these days he is just a figure head anyway."
The seminary student lost his patience at that at and shouted back " more...

A young minister had just got out of the seminary, got his first church, and was preaching his first sermon. In the seminary, they had taught him that if he forgot something, just back up and repeat what he had said, and maybe it would come back to him.
He started out with a quote, "Behold, I cometh... " but he couldn't remember the rest of it.
So he trys to regain his composure, backs up an starts again... "Behold I cometh..." but he still couldn't remember.
So he rears back and shouts again, "Behold I cometh!..." but this time he trips over the pulpit and falls right into the lap of a little old lady sitting the front row!
He was embarassed and started apologizing, but before he could finish the woman muttered...
"It isn't your fault sonny - you told me you were coming three times... I should have moved!"

A young minister had just got out of the seminary, got his first church, and was preaching his first sermon. In the seminary, they had taught him that if he forgot something, just back up and repeat what he had said, and maybe it would come back to him.He started out with a quote, "Behold, I cometh... " but he couldn't remember the rest of it.So he trys to regain his composure, backs up an starts again... "Behold I cometh..." but he still couldn't remember.So he rears back and shouts again, "Behold I cometh!..." but this time he trips over the pulpit and falls right into the lap of a little old lady sitting the front row! He was embarassed and started apologizing, but before he could finish the woman muttered..."It isn't your fault sonny - you told me you were coming three times... I should have moved!"

A young minister had just got out of the seminary, got his first church, and was preaching his first sermon. In the seminary, they had taught him that if he forgot something, just back up and repeat what he had said, and maybe it would come back to him. He started out with a quote, "Behold, I cometh....." but he couldn't remember the rest of it. So he trys to regain his composure, backs up an starts again... "Behold I cometh..." but he still couldn't remember. So he rears back and shouts again, "Behold I cometh!. .." but this time he trips over the pulpit and falls right into the lap of a little old lady sitting the front row! He was embarassed and started apologizing, but before he could finish the woman muttered..."It isn't your fault sonny - you told me you were coming three times... I should have moved!"