Yeshiva Jokes

As was the custom in the small town, the new student at the Yeshiva was invited to the richest merchant's home for Friday night dinner. The new student was tall and handsome, the merchant had a pretty daughter, so as the Friday nights passed by, the glances between the young people got bolderand more passionate. When their love could no longer be ignored, the pappa invited the young student to his study for an after dinner liquor and conversation.
The pappa asked "What are your intentions towards my daugter?"
The student replied, "Sir, I love your daughter and wish to marry her!"
The pappa asked " How do you intend to keep her in the style to which she is accustomed?"
The student replied "Sir, I will study very hard and the good Lord will provide"
The pappa then asked again, " But what will you do when the children arrive?"
The student replied " Sir, I will study even harder and the good Lord will surely more...

Yeshiva University decides to field a rowing team. But they lose race after race. Even though they practice and practice for hours every day, they never manage to come in any better than dead last.
Finally, the team decides to send Morris Fishbein, their Captain, to spy on Harvard, the perennial championship team.
So Morris schleps off to Cambridge and hides in the bushes of the Charles River, from where he carefully watches the Harvard team at their daily practice.
After two weeks, Morris finally returns to Yeshiva. "Well, I figured out their secret," he announces.
"What? Tell us! Tell us!" his teammates all want to know.
"We should have only one guy yelling. The other eight should row."

Yeshiva University decided to field a crew team. Unfortunately, they lost race after race. They practiced for hours every day, but never managed to come in any better than dead last.

The Rosh Yeshiva finally decided to send Yankel to spy on the Harvard team. So Yankel shlepped off to Cambridge and hid in the bullrushes off the Charles River, from where he carefully watched the Harvard team as they practiced.

Yankel finally returned to Yeshiva. "I have figured out their secret," he announced. "They have eight guys rowing and only one guy shouting."

The rowing crew
Yeshiva University in Golders Green decided to put together a rowing team.
Unfortunately, they lost race after race. They practised for hours every day, but never managed to come in any better than dead last. The Head of the Yeshiva finally decided he couldn`t stand any more embarrassment so he sent Yankel to spy on the Oxford University team.
So Yankel shlepped off to Oxford and hid in the bullrushes off the river from where he carefully watched the Oxford team as they practised.
Yankel finally returned to the Yeshiva.
"I have figured out their secret," he announced.
"They have eight guys rowing and only one guy shouting."

A Yeshiva bocher and a seminary student met and started to compare notes about career paths.
The Yeshiva student asked, "So what happens after you graduate?" "Well" answered the seminary student, "I become a priest and if I do well I will promoted to be a Bishop" "Bishop, smishop" said the Yeshiva boy "what is so great about becoming a Bishop? " " Well, said the seminary student "if I do well as a Bishop I can be nominated to become a Cardinal ". The Yeshiva boy was still not satisfied "Cardinal, shmardinal, so you get to wear a little purple yarmulke, so what?" "You do not understand" the other one said "as a Cardinal I get sent to Rome and could even become the Pope!" "Pope, shmope" the young Jewish student said " it is not such a big deal, these days he is just a figure head anyway."
The seminary student lost his patience at that at and shouted back " more...