"The new Yeshiva student" joke
As was the custom in the small town, the new student at the Yeshiva was invited to the richest merchant's home for Friday night dinner. The new student was tall and handsome, the merchant had a pretty daughter, so as the Friday nights passed by, the glances between the young people got bolderand more passionate. When their love could no longer be ignored, the pappa invited the young student to his study for an after dinner liquor and conversation.
The pappa asked "What are your intentions towards my daugter?"
The student replied, "Sir, I love your daughter and wish to marry her!"
The pappa asked " How do you intend to keep her in the style to which she is accustomed?"
The student replied "Sir, I will study very hard and the good Lord will provide"
The pappa then asked again, " But what will you do when the children arrive?"
The student replied " Sir, I will study even harder and the good Lord will surely provide".
So after the conversation ended, the mamma cornered the pappa and asked "Nu, so how did it go?"
The pappa answered "Well, there is good news and bad news"
"So tell me" said the mamma.
"Well" said the pappa " The bad news is that he hasn't a penny to his name"
"So what is the good news?" asked the mamma.
The pappa replied" The good news is that he thinks that I am the good Lord!"
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FIRST TESTIMONY:
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Q: What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration.