Senior Jokes / Recent Jokes

junior: Is never in bed past noon. Senior: Is never out of bed before noon. junior: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he can cut. Senior: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he needs to attend. junior: Brings a can of soda into a lecture hall. Senior: Brings a jumbo hoagie and six-pack of Mountain Dew into a recitation class. junior: Calls the professor "Teacher." Senior: Calls the professor "Bob." junior: Would walk ten miles to get to class. Senior: Drives to class if it's more than three blocks away. junior: Memorizes the course material to get a good grade. Senior: Memorizes the professor's habits to get a good grade. junior: Knows a book-full of useless trivia about the university. Senior: Knows where the next class is. Usually. junior: Shows up at a morning exam clean, perky, and fed. Senior: Shows up at a morning exam in sweats with a cap on and a box of pop tarts in hand. junior Has to ask where the computer labs are. Senior: Has own more...

"These hills are getting steeper as the years go by," one complained.

"These fairways seem to be getting longer too," said one of the others.

"The sand traps seem to be bigger than I remember them too," said the third senior.

After hearing enough from his senior buddies, the oldest, and the wisest of the four of them at 87 years old, piped up and said, "Just be thankful we're still on the right side of the grass!"

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on
280. Please be careful!"
"Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on280. Please be careful!""Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

LESSON 1
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting.
On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp.
They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.
The ghost says:
" Normally, one is granted three wishes, but as you are three, I will allow one wish each. "
So the eager senior manager shouted: " I want the first wish.
I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries."
Pfufffff …. and he was gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted:
" I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails. "
Pfufffff …. And he was also gone.
The boss calmly said: " I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12. 30 pm. "
MORAL OF THE STORY: ALWAYS LET THE BOSS SPEAK FIRST

LESSON 2
Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand," Listen," said more...

George Bush senior and junior were dragging the deer they had just shot back to their truck. Another hunter approached, pulling his along, too.
"Sirs, I don't want to tell you how to do something," he said, "but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer the other way, then the antlers won't drag on the ground."
After the other hunter left, they decided to try it. A little while later, George junior said to George senior, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!"
"Yeah," said George senior, "but we're getting farther from the truck."

Two senior ladies met for the first time since graduating from high school. One asked the other, "You were always so organized in school--how did you manage
to live a well-planned life?"
"Well," said her friend. "My first marriage was to a millionaire; my second marriage was to an actor; my third marriage was to a
preacher; and now I'm married to an undertaker."
Asked the friend, "What do those marriages have to do with a well planned life?"
"One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to go!"