Serenity Jokes

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they pissed me off. And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow. Help me to always give 100% at work: 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday, 5% on Friday. And help me to remember: When I'm having a really bad day, and it seems that people are trying to piss me off, that it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to extend my middle finger and tell them to bite me.

Serenity is not freedom from the storm but peace amid the storm.

God, grant me the serenity to accept a server I cannot change,
Courage to walk past the computer without turning it on when I’m running late, And the wisdom to know the difference between “Come to bed now” (meaning “Let’s have some fun! ”) and “Come to bed NOW! ” (meaning “That computer has got to GO”!) Amen.