Sergeant Jokes / Recent Jokes

When little Reggie was inducted into the Army, he was advised to act tough.

"That's the only way to command respect in the Army," his friends said.

So Reggie did his best to carry out the advice. He swaggered all around camp, bragging, blustering and talking out of the corner of his mouth.

"Show me a sergeant and I'll show you a dope," Reggie shouted.

No sooner had he spoken than a brawny, battle-hardened figure appeared.

"I am a sergeant!" he bellowed.

"I am a dope," whispered Reggie.

A Captain in the foreign legion was transferred to a desert outpost. On his orientation tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel tied out back of the enlisted mens barracks. He asked the Sergeant leading the tour, "What's the camel for?". The Sergeant replied "Well sir it's a long way from anywhere, and the men have natural sexual urges, so when they do, uh, we have the camel." The captain said "Well if it's good for moral, then I guess it's all right with me." After he had been at the fort for about 6 months the captain could not stand it any more so he told his Sergeant, "BRING IN THE CAMEL!!!"The sarge shrugged his shoulders and led the camel into the captains quarters. The captain got a foot stool & proceeded to have vigorous sex with the camel. As he stepped, satisfied, down from the stool, and was buttoning his pants he asked the Sergeant, "Is that how the enlisted men do it?" The Sergeant replied, "Well sir, they more...

A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news.
"So, did you jump?" the father asked.
"Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the plane, and the sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane!
"Is that when you jumped?" asked the father.
"Um, not yet. Then the sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door."
"Did you jump then?" asked the father.
"I'm getting to that. Every one else had jumped, and I was the last man left on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told be to get off the plane or he'd kick my butt."
"So, more...

A Platoon Sergeant and his Platoon Leader are bunking down in the field for the night. The Platoon Sergeant looks up and says, "When you see all the
stars in the sky, what do you think, sir?"
The LT replies, "Well, I think of how insignificant we really are in the universe; how small a piece of such a grand design. I can't help but wonder
if what we do truly means anything or makes any difference. Why? What do
you think of, Sergeant?"
"I think somebody stole the damn tent."

A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He wentthough the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higherand higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from anairplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him thenews. "So, did you jump?" the father asked. "Well, let me tell you whathappened. We got up in the plane, and the sergeant opened up the doorand asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked outof the plane!" Is that when you jumped?" asked the father. "Um, not yet. Then the sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throwthem out the door." "Did you jump then?" asked the father. "I'm getting to that. Every one else had jumped, and I was the last manleft on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. Hetold be to get off the plane or he'd kick my butt." "So, did you jump?" "Not then. He tried more...

The desk sergeant answered the phone, and at once a woman began screaming. "Youve got to help me! Theres a giant gray thing in my yard, and its pulling apples off the tree with its tail!" "Whats he doing with the apples?" the sergeant asked. "If I told you," the woman cried, "you wouldnt believe me!"

An Army Sergeant and a Marine Sergeant were training together at Little Creek Naval Amphibious Base. The Army Sergeant suddenly gets the urge and makes a run for the latrine. THe Marine Sergeant then feels he had a little to much to drink also and follows the Army Sergeant into the latrine. The Army Sergeant quickly finishes up and walks straight outside. The Marine Sergeant sees this and gets pissed off. He quickly washes his hands and races out to find the Army Sergeant. “Hey, ” he says, ”in the Marines, the teach us to wash our hands after we go to the head. ”
The Army Sergeant looks at him and replies, ”In the army, they teach us not to piss on our hands. ”
My
Ass
Rides
In
Naval
Equipment

Muscles
Are
Required
Intelligence
Never
Existed

Never
Again
Volunteer
Yourself

Aint
Ready for
Marines
Yet