Sergeant Jokes / Recent Jokes

- When the general comes, report to me immediately. The general doesn't show. The sergeant gets nervous and every hour reminds the sentry to report about the general's arrival. Finally, the general comes in. - Where have you been? asks the sentry. The sergeant has already asked about you four times.

A retired sergeant was asked: "Well, how do you like civilian life?""Terrible," he said gruffly, "all those people around and nobody in charge!"

An Australian Combat Field Engineer Sergeant and a U. S Marine were on exchange duty and were sharing the latrines.

The Aussie Sergeant finished first and walked out without washing his hands. The U. S Marine watched in disgust, finished his squirt, washed his hands and walked up to the Aussie Sergeant and said. " In the U. S Marine Corps we were taught to wash our hands after a leak".

The rather large Aussie Sergeant replied, " In the Australian Army mate, we were taught not to piss on our hands. ..! "

For thirty years, Officer Johnson had arrived at the police station at 9 A. M. on the dot ready for duty. He had never missed a day and was never late. Consequently, when on one particular day 9 A. M. passed without Johnson's arrival in the briefing room, it caused a major sensation.
All announcements and patrol assignments ceased and the sergeant himself, looking at his watch and muttering, stormed out into the corridor. Finally, precisely at ten, Johnson showed up, his uniform dusty and torn, his nametag missing, his face scratched and bruised, his shield bent. He limped painfully to the time clock, punched in, and said, aware that all eyes were upon him, "I tripped and rolled down two flights of stairs. Nearly freakin' killed myself."
And the sergeant said, "And to roll down two flights of stairs took you a whole hour?"

When little Reggie was inducted into the Army, he was advised to act tough." That's the only way to command respect in the Army," his friends said. So Reggie did his best to carry out the advice. He swaggered all around camp, bragging, blustering and talking out of the corner of his mouth." Show me a sergeant and I'll show you a dope," Reggie shouted. No sooner had he spoken than a brawny, battle-hardened figure appeared." I am a sergeant!" he bellowed." I am a dope," whispered Reggie.

Recruits were shocked at the language the sergeant used in their unit. During a smoke break one young soldier asked: "Sergeant, where did you le-arn your language?" "Learnit, hell, it's a gift," proudly informed the NCO.

Jimmy, a trainee paratrooper was about to perform his first jump. Being dead scared, he allowed all his other friends to jump first. As his turn came, however, he chickened out despite repeated verbal abuses from his training sergeant.
His sergeant couldn't take it anymore and shouted, "If you don't jump now, I'll shove my dick up your ass!"
Relating the story to his father, Jimmy's dad asked, "So son, did you jump after all?"
"Yeah," Jimmy replied, "a little at first..."