Sergeant Jokes / Recent Jokes

The South Carolina State Police received reports of illegal cock fights being held out in the parish near Goose Creek, and duly dispatched Detective Thibideaux to investigate. Thibideaux reported to his sergeant the next morning.

"Dey is tree main groups in dis cock fightin," Thibideaux began.

"Good work Thibideaux! Who dey be?" the sergeant asked. Thibideaux replied confidently, "De Polacks, de Cajuns, and de Mafia."

Puzzled, the sergeant asked, "How you find dat out in one night?"

"Well," said Thibideaux, "I went down and done seed dat cock fight,I knowed de Polacks was involved whan a duck was entered in de fight."

The sergeant nodded. "Oh yeah, l see dat, but what' bout de others?"

Thibideaux intoned knowingly, "Well, I knowed de Cajuns was involved whan sumbody bet on de duck."

"Ah," sighed the sergeant. "Dat more...

A crusty old Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event, hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.

She said, "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?"

"Negative, ma'am," the Sergeant Major said, "Just serious by nature."

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action."

The Sergeant Major's short reply was, "Yes, ma'am, a lot of action."

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself."

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.

Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the more...

A soldier was asked to report to headquarters for assignment. The sergeant said: "We have a critical shortage of typists. I'll give you a little test. Type this," he ordered, giving him a pamphlet to copy and a sheet of paper, and pointing to a desk across the room that held a typewriter and an adding machine.

The man, quite reluctant to become a clerk typist, made a point of typing very slowly, and saw to it that his work contained as many errors as possible.
The sergeant gave the typed copy only a brief glance.
"That's fine," he said. "Report for work at 8 tomorrow."
"But aren't you going to check the test?" the prospective clerk asked.
The sergeant grinned. "You passed the test," he replied, "when you sat down at the typewriter instead of at the adding machine."

Army CadetA drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I guess when I die you`ll come and dance on my grave."The cadet replied, "Not me, Sarge...no sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I`d never stand in another line!"

The desk sergeant answered the phone, and at once a woman began screaming. "You've got to help me! There's a giant gray thing in my yard, and it's pulling apples off the tree with its tail!" "What's he doing with the apples?" the sergeant asked. "If I told you," the woman cried, "you wouldn't believe me!"

A trooper asks a sergeant:- Is it true that man descended from a monkey?- Yes, troopers possibly were. But not sergeants.

As he was drilling a batch of recruits, the sergeant saw that one of them was marching out of step. Walking up next to the man as they marched, he said sarcastically: "Do you know they are all out of step except you?" "What?" asked the recruit innocently. "I said -- they are all out of step except you!" thundered the sergeant. The recruit replied, "Well, sarge, you're in charge -- you tell them!"