Series Jokes / Recent Jokes

The modest man is in the hospital for a series of test. One of the lasttest has left his system upset. Upon making several false alarms to thebathroom he decided the latest was another. He completely filled his bedup with human waste and was embarrased beyond anything he could possiblyface. Losing his presence of mind, he jumped up, gathered up the bedsheets, and threw them out the hospital window. A drunk was walking bythe hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cussingand swinging his arms which drew the attention of the security guard.The security guard ask:"What's going on?" To which the drunk replied: "I just beat the shit outof a ghost."

A Chicago man dies and goes to hell. When he gets there, the devil comes over to welcome him. The devil then says "sometimes it gets pretty uncomfortable down here." The man says, "No problem. I'm from Chicago." So the devil goes over to the thermostat, turns the temperature up to 100, and the humidity up to 80. He then goes back to the Chicago man to see how he's doing. To the devil's surprise, the man is doing just fine. "No problem... just like Chicago in June," the man says. So the devil goes back over to the thermostat, and turns the temperature up to 150, and the humidity up to 90. He then goes back over to see how the Chicago man is doing. The man is sweating a little, but overall looks comfortable." No problem. Just like Chicago in July," the man says. So now the devil goes over to the thermostat, turns the temperature up to 200, and the humidity up to 100. When he goes back to see how the man is doing, the man is sweating profusely, and more...

Approval Seeker’s Law: Those whose approval you seek the most give you the least. - Washington writer Rozanne Weissman
The Aquinas Axiom: What the gods get away with, the cows don’t.
Army Axiom: Any order that can be misunderstood has been misunderstood.
Arnold’s Laws of Documentation: (1) If it should exist, it doesn’t. (2) If it does exist, it’s out of date. (3) Only documentation for useless programs transcends the first two laws.
Astrology Laws: It’s always the wrong time of the month. - Rozanne Weissman
Avery’s Rule of Three: Trouble strikes in series of threes, but when working around the house the next job after a series of three is not the fourth job - it’s the start of a brand new series of three.
Baer’s Quartet: What’s good politics is bad economics; what’s bad politics is good economics; what’s good economics is bad politics; what’s bad economics is good politics. - Eugene Baer (Baer also allows that it can be restated more...

Agent Scott Boras has said that he would like to see major changes to the World Series. The first change we'd recommend is that Scott Boras isn't allowed anywhere near the World Series.

Check it out! A strange coincidence.
Colin
If any of you remember the movie "Back to the Future II" you will recall that Bif goes to the future and steals a Sports Almanac, where in turn he goes back to the past to give it to young Bif. As we all know Young Bif was able to become very wealthy by betting on games where he already knew the final score.
In an obscure line you hear young Bif say "Florida is going to win the World Series in 1997, yeah right"
This movie came out in 1987, ten years before the Marlins did actually win the world series. And what's really weird is that Florida didn't even have a baseball team in 1987.

If Babe Ruth is the only player ever to hit three home runs in a World Series game on two separate occasions-Game 4 of the 1926 Series and Game 4 of the 1928 Series, then who got the most balls in the face? Paris Hilton

Members of the Tampa Bay Rays were recently given $223,390 each for participating in the 2008 World Series. It's nice to hear that Stephon Marbury isn't the only loser who's getting a big pay check.