Service Jokes / Recent Jokes

Secret Service are agents expected to testify that Monica Lewinsky was in the
oval office with the President unescorted for 40 minutes, But everything
was O.K, she was just giving the President a debriefing.

Polceman: "I'm afraid that I'm going to have to lock you up for the night."Man: "What's the charge?"Polceman: "Oh, there's no charge. It's all part of the service

I ain't saying the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance... she leaned over and pushed me.

Last summer, the President and Mrs. Clinton were vacationing in their home
state of Arkansas.
On a venture one day, they stopped at a service station to fill up the car
with gas. It seemed that the owner of the station was once Hillary's high
school love. They exchanged hellos, and went on their way.
As they were driving on to their destination, Bill put his arm around Hillary
and said, "Well, honey, if you had stayed with him, you would be the wife of
a service station owner today."
She smiled and replied, "No. If I had stayed with him, he would be President
of the United States."

The following announcements actually appeared in various church bulletins. Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help. Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends. Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early. Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor. Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study. This being Easter more...

Submitted by Darcy

FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital in San Diego that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud.

After hours of reviewing thousands of medical records, the dozens of agents had worked up quite an appetite.

The agent in charge of the investigation called a nearby pizza parlor with delivery service to order a quick dinner for his colleagues.

The following telephone conversation took place and was recorded by the FBI because they were taping all conversations at the hospital.

Agent: Hello. I'd like to order 19 large pizzas and 3 cases of soda
Pizza Man: And where would you like them delivered?

Agent: We're over at the psychiatric hospital.
Pizza Man: The psychiatric hospital?

Agent: That's right. I'm an FBI agent.
Pizza Man: You're an FBI agent?

Agent: That's correct. Just about everybody here is.
Pizza Man: And you're at the more...

A young preacher was contacted by the local funeral director to hold a grave-side committal service at a small local cemetery for someone with no family or friends. The preacher started early but quickly got himself lost, making several wrong turns.

He arrived a half-hour late, the hearse was nowhere in sight, and the workmen were eating lunch.

The pastor went to the open grave and found the vault lid already in place. Taking out his book, he read the service.

As he was returning to his car, he overheard one of the workmen say: "Think we should tell him it's a septic tank?."