Set Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man went to the store with his 3-year-old daughter in tow. Since he was just there to grab some essentials like milk and bread, he opted to save some time by not pushing a cart around the store.

"That's not the way Mommy does it," his daughter informed him.

"I know, dear, but Daddy's way is OK, too," he replied.

Leaving the store in the rain and without a cart, he carried the bag of groceries, his daughter, and the milk quickly to the car. Not wanting to set anything down on the wet ground, he set the jug of milk on top of the car, efficiently whisked open the car door with his now free hand, scooted the groceries in and set his daughter into the car seat in one swift motion. Then he hopped in himself.

"That's not the way Mommy does it," his daughter informed him again.

"Honey, there's more than one way to do things," he replied patiently. "Daddy's way is OK, too."

As more...

A LADY went to a TV shop to buy a set. The shop salesman, while recommending a particular set, emphasised the joys of remote control. It would naturally cost her more than the ordinary set, but it would be worth it just to relax' in her armchair, flicking through a multichannelled set.
'Listen, Son the lady replied,' I don't need a remote control. With six children, my chances of controlling my TV are already remote. I'll have the standard set, please.'

As reported by the Brockton Enterprise, Friday, August 14, 1998

"Bride finds groom-to-be in bed with best man"

ATHENS-

Greek machismo has suffered a below-the-belt blow in Crete, where a bride-to-be was hospitalized with "severe shock" after discovering her groom in bed with his best man on the eve of their wedding.

A policeman in Heraklion said the story had sent shock waves through the island, where the groom has gone into hiding. "What was really upsetting for her was that he was wearing her wedding dress when she caught him in their own bed," he said. "Her family has sworn revenge if they ever find him."

The Athens news agency that carried the report said the couple had decided to tie the knot after a turbulent relationship and the wedding date was set for last Saturday. The bride-to-be stumbled upon her fiance and his best man after friends asked her to take them to the couple's home more...

MICROSOFT TV DINNER PRODUCT INSERT
Unknown
You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you
agree to accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV
dinners. You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner
(which would constitute an infringement of Microsoft's
rights). You may, however, let others smell and look at your
dinner and are encouraged to tell them how good it is.
If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the
oven. Set the oven using these keystrokes:
Then enter:
|/yum~yum:-)gohot#cookme>.
If you have a Mac oven, insert the dinner and press start.
The oven will set itself and cook the dinner.
Be forewarned that Microsoft dinners may crash, in which
case your oven must be restarted. This is a simple
procedure. Remove the dinner from the oven and enter
. This process
may have to be repeated. Try unplugging the microwave and
then doing a cold reboot. If this more...

A village potter used to make pots and planters. He would go to a near by town to sell his wares. He had a donkey on whose back he would load the pots etc.
Diwali was fast approaching, so the potter decided to make some statues of Lord Ganesha and Goddess Lakshmi, to sell in town. He made some beautiful statues and painted them in bright colours. He then loaded them on to the back of his donkey and set off towards the city.
On the way, he crossed many people. They would invariably fold their hands and bow to the statues of Ganesha and Lakshmi. By the time they reached the city, many people had bowed their heads before the deities.
They reached the exhibition ground where the artisans could exhibit their things. Soon the potter was able to sell his statues for a good sum. He was pleased indeed!
The potter took his donkey by the muzzle and set off on the road leading back to the village. Every time they would cross anyone, the donkey would stop and preen himself more...

Twas the "NET" before Christmas
When all through our house,
Not a creature was typing
nor moving a mouse.
Our Monitors hummed
and were glowing within,
In hopes that Saint Nicholas
would soon "Modem" in.
The teenagers were crashed
in their messy bedrooms,
and dreaming of boxes
With games such as Doom.
Mom back from aerobics
and done kissing me,
We just settled in for some
much needed ZZZ's.
When in the home office
there arose such a din,
I shot down the stairs,
Had the fax just come in??
Away to my keyboard
I leaped to my chair,
Typed in my password. ..
But no Fax was there!!
My screen came alive
it was wildly aglow,
The hard drive went crunching
The "One and the "O."
When what my bifocaled eyes
should I see,
But a Brand New Web Browser
not AT&T.
From server so rapid
(not one on the more...

There are three major races in Malaysia. They are the Malay, Chinese and Indian. The Malay has the political power and so they set up the party UMNO which literally means "U Must Not Object". While the Chinese controlled the economy and they called their party MCA which means "Money Conquered All". Lastly, the Indian who has no say in politic or economics, set up their party called MIC. Hence, every parliamentary meeting the Indians would ask: "Must I Come?"