Settlers Jokes

May be offensive to Native Americans.
A community of settlers was moving in on an Indian Tribe. Most Indian tribes had a medicine man who was the leader of the tribe. Well the settlers were planning to move the Indians off their land to build a town. The big chief of the Indians did not like it at all. So he decided to go to the settlers and tell them that he was not moving.
The big chief finds one settler and says, "ME BIG CHIEF WANT TO SEE MEDICINE MAN!"
The settler had no idea what the chief was talking about, so he sent him to the pharmacist down the road.
The chief says to the pharmacist,"YOU MEDICINE MAN??"
The pharmacist replies,"yes."
The chief says "ME BIG CHIEF NO MOVE!!" Well the pharmacist thinks that the Indian must be constipated, so he gives him some ex-lax and sends him on his way.
A week later the chief shows up again and says, "ME BIG CHIEF STILL NO MOVE!"
The pharmacist thought about more...

May be offensive to Native Americans.
A community of settlers was moving in on an Indian Tribe. Most Indian tribes had a medicine man who was the leader of the tribe. Well the settlers were planning to move the Indians off their land to build a town. The big chief of the Indians did not like it at all. So he decided to go to the settlers and tell them that he was not moving.
The big chief finds one settler and says, "ME BIG CHIEF WANT TO SEE MEDICINE MAN!"
The settler had no idea what the chief was talking about, so he sent him to the pharmacist down the road.
The chief says to the pharmacist,"YOU MEDICINE MAN??"
The pharmacist replies,"yes."
The chief says "ME BIG CHIEF NO MOVE!!" Well the pharmacist thinks that the Indian must be constipated, so he gives him some ex-lax and sends him on his way.
A week later the chief shows up again and says, "ME BIG CHIEF STILL NO MOVE!"
The pharmacist thought more...

Everybody knows about the kangaroo, the tall marsupial that lives in Australia, but when settlers first went there, they were amazed and had never seen anything like them. They asked an aborigine what the animals were called. He replied, "Kangaroo," so that is what the settlers called them. Little did they know, kangaroo is an aboriginal phrase meaning, "I don't understand your question."

SEATTLE'S TURKEY DAY ETIQUETTE

It's been 145 years since the first white settlers landed at Alki Beach at Thanksgiving time, took one look at the overcast skies and the sodden, rain-soaked West Seattle terrain, and burst into tears.

(History, alas, doesn't record the response of the Native Americans when they spotted those tear-drenched settlers. But they probably were too polite to laugh out loud.)

In the intervening years, the first residents and the settlers have worked out the rules for Thanksgiving, Puget Sound style. Here they are, recently updated by an ad hoc Turkey Day committee:

DRESS CODE. Thanksgiving Day guests will arrive wearing Seattle tuxes: clean jeans, turtleneck sweaters and down jackets with weathered ski-lift tags. Hiking boots are optional.

CONVERSATION'S GAMBIT. Topics will include: 1) the election; 2) previous elections; and, 3) the next election. Several arguments will ensue before the host or hostess more...

When the first settlers in the' Great White North' were trying think of a name for their great, white, northern country, they experienced a bit of' founders' block' and couldn't come up with anything impressive enough. They cogitated and rubbed their skulls a bit more, and decided on a plan.

The founders wrote each letter of the alphabet on a little piece of paper. Next, they dumped them into a hat and scrambled them up. One volunteered to wear a blindfold, dug into the hat and picked out a piece of paper. The fellow then handed it to another, who read it aloud. The meeting transpired like this:

' C...eh? N...eh? D...eh?'

. ..and everyone shouted,' That's it!!!, eh?'