Shake Jokes / Recent Jokes

A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. While they were walking through the barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly.

At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head yes and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, he would shake his head no and mumble a reply.

Curious, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about.

The farmer replied, "The women would say,' What a terrible tragedy' and I would nod my head and say,' Yes, it was.' The men would ask,' You wanna sell that mule?' and I would shake my head and say,' Can't. It's all booked up for a year.'"

Tom: Why did the monster jump up and down?
Martin: Because he'd just taken his medicine and he'd forgotten to shake the bottle.

A farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who insisted on a tour of the place after she arrived. When they were walking through the barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly.
At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stationed himself at the casket and greeted friends and family as they walked by. The pastor noticed that, whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head, "Yes". Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, he would shake his head, "No".
The pastor noticed this happened without fail, "Yes" to women, "No" to men. He asked the farmer after the service what that was all about.
The farmer replied, "The women would say, 'What a terrible tragedy' and I would nod my head and say, 'Yes, it is'. The men would ask, 'Want to sell that mule?', and I would shake my head and say, 'Not on your life'."

Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen. What do I do?
A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch on?
A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: What's the shortcut for Undo?
A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I create a New Document window?
A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same color?
A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?
A: Don't shake it.

Solution to the Y2K problemThe government`s system administration team, working with computer manufacturers and experts in the computer industry, has found a lower cost alternative to address the Y2K (Year 2000) issue: The goal is to remove all computers from the desktop by December 31, 1999. In exchange for taking every computer, an Etch-A-Sketch will be issued to all Americans. There are many reasons for doing this:

1. No Y2K problems.
2. No technical glitches keeping working from being done.
3. No more wasted time reading and writing E-Mails.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) from the Etch-A-Sketch Help Desk:

Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has funny lines all over the screen. What do I do?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: What`s the shortcut for Undo?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I create a new document?
A: Pick it up and more...

Two guys are on duty at a french foreign legion fort. One says to the other one, "See that camel over there? I'll bet you I can make him jump 30 feet in the air.
The other guy says "No way".
The first guy walks around to the back of the camel with two bricks, reaches in between the camel's legs and crashes the bricks together. The camel jumps 30 feet in the air.
A couple of days later the first guy says to the second guy, "I bet you I can make that camel nod his head yes, then shake his head no."
The second guy says, "You got me last time, but there's no way you can make that dumb animal nod his head yes then shake it no."
The first guy takes the same two bricks, walks around to the front of the camel, holds up the bricks and says, "Remember what I did last time?". (Camel nods). "Want me to do it again?"

Two guys are on duty at a french foreign legion fort. One says to the other one, "See that camel over there? I'll bet you I can make him jump 30 feet in the air.The other guy says "No way".The first guy walks around to the back of the camel with two bricks, reaches in between the camel's legs and crashes the bricks together. The camel jumps 30 feet in the air.A couple of days later the first guy says to the second guy, "I bet you I can make that camel nod his head yes, then shake his head no."The second guy says, "You got me last time, but there's no way you can make that dumb animal nod his head yes then shake it no."The first guy takes the same two bricks, walks around to the front of the camel, holds up the bricks and says, "Remember what I did last time?". (Camel nods). "Want me to do it again?"