Shakespeare Jokes / Recent Jokes
This is a collection of actual student bloopers collected by teachers from 8th grade through college.The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and more...
Andy:- Please note the GCSE's are public exams taken by 13 year olds in UK
This is an indication of the wonderful future that awaits the UK... the level of answers in GCSE exams!
This is a compilation of actual student GCSE answers...
1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics.They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?"
3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
4. Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.
5. The Greeks were a highly more...
The Top 15 Pick-Up Lines Used by William Shakespeare
15>' How about a little Puck?'
14>' Of course,' Romeo and Gertrude' is just a working title. I might be persuaded to change it for you, M'Lady.'
13>' Et tu, Cutie?'
12>' Shall I compare thee to a brick outhouse?'
11>' If I whispered in thine ear that thou hadst a body of beauty unknown but to the heavens, wouldst thou hold it against me?'
10>' Wouldst thou care to join me in forming the beast with two backs?'
9>' My heart, it pines, as my trousers tent.'
8>' Without thine companionship, dear lady, I fearest I'd spend the
evening with pen in hand, if thou knows what I mean.'
7>' Hey, Baby, can Ophelia up?'
6>' Is this a dagger I see before me? Nay! I'm merely happy to cast eyes upon thy beauty!'
5>' Greetings to you, fair sailor.'
4>' But soft, what light through yonder trousers more...
Rob and Bob are putting on a shakespeare production.
ROB: In the opening scene, King Theseus and his bride Hippolyta rejoice in their love
Bob: Wait, wait, I don't get it.
ROB: There's nothing "to get". The characters are in love and about to be married. That's the start of the play.
Bob: Oh, I see
ROB: You still don't get it, do you?
Bob: Nope.
After a venerable career of endless, stellar successes the greatest director who ever lived is in his prime and preparing for his most ambitious project ever when he unexpectedly dies and is called home to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the gate.
"So sorry about your untimely death," he tells the director. "But God himself has called you home. You see, God wants you to direct a movie for Him."
The great man is humbled, "God wants ME to direct a film?"
"Yes," St. Peter tells him. "And we've arranged to have the best of everything made available to you. For example, the script is by William Shakespeare."
The director is stunned, "An original screenplay by William Shakespeare?"
"Yes," St. Peter assures him, "And it's his greatest work ever."
"Wow!" says the Director, awe struck.
"Your Production Designer will be Michaelangelo. We've got Leonardo Da Vinci doing more...