Shakespeare Jokes / Recent Jokes
This is a collection of actual student bloopers collected by teachers from 8th grade through college.
The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.
Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a more...
Many authors are disputing who wrote the Shakespeare plays. They each say they did. In their arguing, they decide to try and prove who wrote it by first showing Shakespeare's work, then theirs.
Shakespeare version:
TITANIA to BOTTOM
Thou art as wise as thou art beautiful.
Jack London's version:
TITANIA to BOTTOM
You're as wise as the snowy owl and as beautiful as the clear night sky with fresh white snow under the Northern lights.
Dr. Seuss' version:
TITANIA to BOTTOM
You're as attractive as green eggs on a plate and the way you sing is fantastically great!
Homer's version:
TITANIA to BOTTOM
Be you as wise as Odysseus and as beautiful as fair Helen.
Guess who won.
After a venerable career of endless, stellar successes the greatest director who ever lived is in his prime and preparing for his most ambitious project ever when he unexpectedly dies and is called home to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the gate. "So sorry about your untimely death," he tells the director. "But God himself has called you home. You see, God wants you to direct a movie for Him." The great man is humbled, "God wants ME to direct a film?" "Yes," St. Peter tells him. "And we've arranged to have the best of everything made available to you. For example, the script is by William Shakespeare." The director is stunned, "An original screenplay by William Shakespeare?" "Yes," St. Peter assures him, "And it's his greatest work ever." "Wow!" says the Director, awe struck. "Your Production Designer will be Michaelangelo. We've got Leonardo Da Vinci d oing the sets, your musical score will more...
More examples of creativity provided by a 6th grade class during history tests:
1. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic
pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple. 2. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained. 3. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a virgin, and Benjamin Franklin
were to 2 singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and
declared, "a horse divided against itself can not stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead. 4. Abraham Lincoln was more...
One Sunday afternoon, shortly after they had moved to Texas, an English professor and his son decided to take a walk through the park. During their walk, the boy saw two cowboys go by.
"Hey, Dad, look at those bow-legged bastards!" the son yelled.
The father was shocked by this and told his son that that wasn't very nice language to use.
A few minutes later, two more cowboys walked by and again the boy shouted, "Hey, Dad, look at those bow-legged bastards!"
Now, quite upset, the father turned to his son and said, "I told you not to say that. I don't ever want to hear it again!"
A few more minutes passed and two more cowboys walked by. Again, the boy yelled, "Hey, Dad, look at those bow-legged bastards!"
"That's it!" the father yelled. He took his son home and sent him to his room with the complete works of Shakespeare.
Two weeks later, the father allowed his son to come out of his room and noticed that the more...
After a venerable career of endless, stellar successes the greatest director who ever lived is in his prime and preparing for his most ambitious project ever when he unexpectedly dies and is called home to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the gate.
"So sorry about your untimely death," he tells the director. "But God himself has called you home. You see, God wants you to direct a movie for Him."
The great man is humbled, "God wants ME to direct a film?"
"Yes," St. Peter tells him. "And we've arranged to have the best of everything made available to you. For example, the script is by William Shakespeare."
The director is stunned, "An original screenplay by William Shakespeare?"
"Yes," St. Peter assures him, "And it's his greatest work ever."
"Wow!" says the Director, awe struck.
"Your Production Designer will be more...