Shark Jokes / Recent Jokes
How do you shoot a great white shark? Hold his nose until he turns blue and then you shoot him with a blue shark spear gun!
Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid". That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me... oops, never mind. I didn't see your sign." It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and says "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign." A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big' ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "No - We talked' em into giving up. Here's your sign." I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "Alright Jimmy, you got that shark more...
Did you hear about the new shark food restaurant called Jaws? It costs an arm and a leg to eat there!
Q: Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
A: To the prawn broker!
Q: What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can't refuse?
A: The Codfather!
Q: How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?
A: He prawned everything!
Q: Which fish can perform operations?
A: A Sturgeon!
Q: What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
A: He got lockjaw!
Q: Where do fish wash?
A: In a river basin!
Q: Why did the whale cross the road?
A: To get to the other tide!
Q: Where do little fishes go every morning?
A: To plaice school!
Q: What fish goes up the river at 100mph?
A: A motor pike!
Q: What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
A: As far away as possible!
If a hungry shark is after you, what should you feed it? Jawbreakers!
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon!
Where do little fishes go every morning?
To plaice school!
What fish goes up the river at 100mph?
A motor pike!
How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?
He prawned everything!
1st kipper: `Smoking`s bad for you`
2nd kipper: `It`s OK, I`ve been cured`
What kind of fish is useful in freezing weather?
Skate!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh!
What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbors?
A hermit crab!
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
As far away as possible!
Why did the whale cross the road?
To get to the other tide! Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
To the prawn broker!
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can`t refuse?
The Codfather!
What happened to the shark that swallowed a bunch of keys?
He got more...