Sheep Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was once a sheep farmer who required assistance with the difficult task of castrating some of his inferior male sheep to keep them from breeding with the females. Finally, he hired a French guy. Although he didn't speak much English, he was a very good worker.
After the first day, they had successfully castrated 16 sheep and his French worker was just about to throw away the "parts", when the sheep farmer yelled, "Wait! Don't throw those away! My wife fries them up and we eat them. They're delicious. We call them 'sheep fries'."
Later that day, the French hired hand came in for supper and, sure enough, the 'sheep fries' were tasty.
The following day, they castrated 18 sheep. That evening, they all settled down to another supper of 'sheep fries'.
On the third day, however, when the sheep farmer came home, he asked his wife where the French hired hand was. She replied, "It's the strangest thing. I told him since there weren't very many more...

If athletes get athlete's foot, astronauts get missile toe.

A bird dog could be called a point setter.

James Fenimore Cooper wrote about the life of Santa Claus in his novel The Deer Sleigher.

What's the difference between a one-winged angel and a two-winged angel? It's a matter of a pinion!

It's a matter of my opinion that Yule love the game we're about to play. In each sentence below, fill in the blank or blanks with an expression commonly used at Christmastide. Answers repose at the end of this column.


1. On December 24, Adam's wife was known as _____ _____.


2. In Charles Dickens's A Christmas Carol, Scrooge was visited by the ghost of _____ _____.


3. An opinion survey in Alaska is called a _____ _____.


4. What does Santa Claus do with his three gardens? _____, _____, _____


5. What Christmas message is conveyed by these letters?: more...

There was a blonde who was tired of all the blonde jokes and decided to dye her hair brown. She then went for a drive in the country and came upon a shepherd herding his sheep across the road.

She asked the shepherd, "If I guess how many sheep there are here, can I keep one?"

He replied "Sure!"

Out of the blue, she blurts out, "352!"

He is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick out a sheep. She looks and searches and finally picks out the cutest one.

He looks at her and says, "If I guess what color your hair really is, can I have my dog back!"

Substitute below for the place of origin of any ethnic
group not locally renowned for high intelligence.
A man walks up to a New Zealand sheep farmer and says, "If I can tell
you exactly how many sheep you have down there, can I keep one?"
The farmer glances at the vast array of sheep, snickers, and says, "Sure."
The man looks carefully at the sheep, then says, "5,279."
The farmer, startled, says, "How did you do that?"
The man says, "I'd rather not say. Can I have my animal?"
"I guess so," says the farmer. The man picks up an animal and starts to
walk away.
"Wait!" yells the farmer. "If I can guess where you're from, will you
give me my animal back?"
The man snickers, and says, "Sure."
"You're from ," says the farmer.
The man, startled, says, "How did you do that?"
The farmer says, "I'd rather not say. Can I more...

Once there was this brunette who was driving her corvette with the wind in her hair.
She looked and she saw a farmer with a flock of sheep so she drove over and asked the farmer “if I can guess how many sheep in you’re flock will you give me a sheep. ”
The farmer says “OK”.
The brunette says “485?.
The farmer says “that’s right but if I can guess you’re natural hair color can I have my sheep back”.
the brunette says “OK”.
The farmer says “blonde”.
The brunette says how did you know.
The farmer says you just picked the dog.

There were 2 surd, both of them were good hunters, one of them Mr.Daka Singh killed only lions & tigers, and one Mr. Laka Singh killed only deers. Once they both met. Laka Singh asked Daka Singh how is that you only kill lions & tigers and I kill only deers. Tell me the trick. He told him just go to a cave and imitate the noise of a sheep the lion comes out of the cave and shoot him then that quite easy.
After 2 months daka singh got the news that Laka Singh was in the hospital on questioning him he exclaimed I did the same thing you told me. I just outside a big cave and imitated the noise of a sheep but I did not know that deccan queen was coming out from the cave.

What do you get if you cross a dog and a sheep? A sheep that can round itself up!