Shepherd Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once there was a blonde who didn't want to be
thought of as ditzy, so she got her hair dyed red.

On the way home, she saw a flock of sheep. She
pulled over the car and went over to the shepherd.

She said,"I love your sheep! If I guess how many
you have, can I have one?" He said, "Sure,"
because he didn't think she could guess the right
answer.

When she guessed the right number he was amazed
and let her go choose a sheep. As she was leaving,
the shepherd said, "Let me ask you a question. If
I can guess what color your hair really is, can I
have my dog back?"

There once was a blonde who was very tired of blonde jokes and insults directed at her intelligence. So, she cut and dyed her hair, got a make-over, got in her car, and began driving around in the country. Suddenly, she came to a herd of sheep in the road. She stopped her car and went over to the shepherd who was tending to them."If I can guess the exact number of sheep here, will you let me have one?" she asked. The shepherd, thinking this was a pretty safe bet, agreed."You have 171 sheep," said the blonde in triumph. Surprised, the shepherd told her to pick out a sheep of her choice. She looked around for a while and finally found one that she really liked. She picked it up and was petting it when the shepherd walked over to her and asked, "if I can guess your real hair color, will you give me my sheep back?"The blonde thought it was only fair to let him try. "You're a blonde! Now give me back my dog."

A bloke is driving around in his Porsche in the English countryside. He stops outside a field full of sheep, walks up to the shepherd and says, "I've got an offer. I'll guess how many sheep you've got in this field, and if I guess right, I get to take a sheep with me. If I guess wrong, you get my car."The shepherd thinks he's on to a sure thing and agrees. "137" says the driver."Damn me, you're right," says the shepherd and dutifully hands over a sheep.The man walks away, stuffs the sheep in his car and is about to drive away when the shepherd knocks on his window. "I've got a proposal for you." says the shepherd. "If I can guess what you do for a living, I get to take your car. If I'm wrong, you can have all my sheep.""Done," says the driver."You're a consultant," says the shepherd."Bloody hell! How did you guess?""Easy. You come in here uninvited, you tell me what I already know, and then you charge more...

Man with a German Shepherd dog goes into a bar and sits down at
the counter. Bartender says, "You can't bring that dog in here!"
Man says, "But this is a Seeing Eye dog!" Bartender says "Well, OK,
then I guess it can stay."
After a while, the man and the German Shepherd get up to leave. As
they're going out the door, another man with a Chihuahua is coming
in. First man says, "The bartender won't like you bringing that dog
in here, but just tell him it's a Seeing Eye dog and then it'll be
OK." Second man looks dubiously at his tiny Chihuahua, thinks
a fews seconds, then thanks the first man and goes on in.
Bartender says, "Hey! You can't bring that Chihuahua in here!" Man
stares straight ahead and exclaims "What! They sold me a Chihuahua?!"

Having grown tired of people assuming she was dumb because of her blonde hair, Sue decided to have it dyed brown. Leaving the hairdresser's feeling very good about herself she decided to take a drive in the country. She saw a shepherd with his sheep and decided this was the perfect opportunity to test out her new look. Parking her car, she got out and approached the shepherd.
"May I have one of your sheep as a reward if I can correctly guess how many you have?" she asked.
Thinking she could never possibly guess the exact number, he agreed. Much to his surprise, Sue guessed 95, the exact number of sheep in his flock.
Winning the bet and feeling very proud of herself, Sue picked up her reward and was heading back to her car when she felt the shepherd tap her on the shoulder.
"Pardon me," the shepherd said, "but if I can guess your natural hair color, do you think I could have my dog back?"

a bolnde woman died her hair red becouse she got so fed up of every man takeing the mick out of blonde womman.so 1 day she was driving her car down a country lane on her way to work when she has to stop to let a shepherd pass with his flock of sheep. waiting pationtaly she winds down her window and says to the shepherd if i gess how many sheep you have can i have one? so the shepherd replys yes ok so the woman thinks for a whille and says you have got 195 sheep so the shepherd says yes thats right pick ur sheep so she wonders around and finaly picks one up and puts it in her car. then the shepherd says to the woman i got another deal for you if i gess what colour your hair is can i have my sheepdog back!!!

The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not flunk;
He keepeth me from lying down when I should be studying.
He leadeth me beside the water cooler for a study break;
He restoreth my faith in study guides.
He leads me to better study habits
For my grades sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of borderline grades,
I will not have a nervous breakdown;
For thou art with me.
My prayers and my friends, they comfort me.
Thou givest me answers in moments of blankness;
Thou anointest my head with understanding.
My test paper runneth over with questions I recognize.
Surely passing grades and flying colors shall follow me
All the days of my examinations,
And I shall not have to dwell in this university forever,
Amen!