Shirt Jokes / Recent Jokes
A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school.
Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work.
When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took the desk stapler and stapled the tie to his chest.
He had no trouble with discipline that term.
A young single guy on a cruise ship is having the time of his life. On the second day of the cruise, the ship slams into an iceberg and begins to sink. Passengers around him are screaming, flailing, and drowning, but our guy manages to grab on to a piece of driftwood and, using every last ounce of strength, swims a few miles through the shark-infested sea to a remote island.
Sprawled on the shore nearly passed out from exhaustion, he turns his head and sees a woman lying near him, who had also managed to survive this far, but she was unconscious and barely breathing. He makes his way to her, and with some mouth-to-mouth assistance he manages to get her breathing and conscious again.
She looks up at him, wide-eyed and grateful and says, "My God, you saved my life!" He suddenly realizes the woman is Cindy Crawford! Days and weeks go by. Cindy and our guy are living on the island together. They've set up a hut, there's fruit on the trees, and they're in more...
A school teacher injured his back and was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still wearing the cast under his shirt, he found he was assigned to the toughest class in the school.
Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work.
As he worked at his desk, a strong breeze from the window made his tie flap around. He kept trying to rearrange it and finally, getting so annoyed with the flapping, he grabbed the stapler from his desk and stapled the tie to his chest in several places.
Discipline was never a problem in the class from that day on.
Young Bradley arrived at his date's house wearing a shirt that had water dripping from it. "What're you doin'?" asked his girlfriend. "How come your shirt is soakin' wet?" "Well," said Bradley, "it said on the label: WASH AND WEAR."
Well, Morgan came home one night. She was 16 at this time. She found her old friend, Joey lying in her bed, with his shirt off. He turned his head and spotted Morgan! Morgan Clark walked over to him and asked,"
Joey"
? "
YEAH, BABY"
! "
OOOOOH"
, Morgan said suprised,"
What are you doing"
, She raised her eyebrow."
Well i sort of thought you were thinking of me, like this... you like me, you love me, you want some more of me"
! "
Good Idea"
, Morgan explained. She pulled of her shirt, and uncliped her braw. She pulled down her pants and slipped off her purple underwear, then she stood butt naked in the middle of the room."
Yeah! Baby!"
< Joey whistled. And they has sex all night!
A guy was walking around the office Christmas party belting down drink after drink. But every ten or fifteen minutes, he reached into his shirt pocket, pulled something out, took a look at it, then put it back in his pocket. Finally, a friend came up to him and said, "George, I've been watching you all night, and I have to ask... what's in your shirt pocket?" "It's a picture of my wife." "Why do you keep looking at it?" "Because," George replied, "When she finally starts looking good, it's time to go home."
Little Johnny got on a bus and sat down next to a man. He noticed that the man had a strange kind of shirt collar, so he asked him, "Excuse me, sir, but why do you have your shirt collar on backwards?"
The man smiled kindly and answered, "I wear this collar because I am a father."
Little Johnny thought a second and responded, "Sir, I have a father, but he wears his collar the other way around. Why do you wear your collar so differently?"
The priest thought for a minute, and said, "I am the Father for many."
Little Johnny quickly answered, "My father, too, is the father of many. He has four sons, four daughters and many grandchildren. But he wears his collar like everyone else does. Why do you wear yours backwards?"
The priest, flustered, said impatiently, "I am the Father for hundreds and hundreds of people."
Little Johnny sat silently for a long time. As he got up to leave the bus, he leaned over to more...