Shoe Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two Marines boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Dallas, headed for Houston. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before take-off, an Army soldier got on and took the aisle seat next to the two Marines. The Soldier kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Marine in the window seat said, "I think I'll get up and get a coke." "No problem," said the Soldier, "I'll get it for you." While he was gone, the Marine picked up the Soldier's shoe and spit in it. When the Soldier returned with the coke, the Marine in the middle seat said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too." Again, the Soldier obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the Marine picked up the soldier's other shoe and spit in it. The Soldier returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the rest of the short flight to Houston. As the plane was landing, the Soldier slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately more...
A policeman comes to the office with one black shoe and one white shoe. His boss starts to yell at him:
- You are ruining police reputation, go home and change the shoes.
The policeman goes home, and comes back after a while.
- Boss I have a problem, the other pair of shoes at home are black and white, too.
Q. What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? A. Every morning you'll rise and shine!
There was a shoe sales man sitting in his store when a beautiful woman comes in. He looks at her and can't stop staring. While helping her try on a pair of shoes he glances up her skirt to find she isn't wearing any panties. He started thinking and something slipped out. The man said "I'd like to fill your pussy with ice cream and lick it all out!" Hearing this the woman runs out to tell her husband. She says, "Honey, this shoe salesman said he'd like to fill my pussy up with ice cream and lick it all out!" "Now go kick his ass!". The husband replied "Dear, anyone that can eat that much ice cream, I ain't fuckin' with!"
Two shoe salespeople were sent to Africa to open up new markets. Three days after arriving, one salesperson called the office and said, "I'm returning on the next flight. Can't sell shoes here. Everybody goes barefoot."
At the same time the other salesperson sent an email to the factory, telling "The prospects are unlimited. Nobody wears shoes here!"
The middle-aged wife had just returned to the house on Saturday afternoon after a shopping trip. She was quite agitated, and proceeded to tell her husband about a certain shoe salesman who had been rude. It seems she was sitting down while he helped her try on various shoes, and happened to glance up and notice that she was not wearing any knickers under her dress. Without even thinking, he just blurted out, "If that thing was full of ice cream, I'd eat every bite." Well, she was understandably insulted, and now wanted to know what her husband was going to do about it. The husband just sat there, watching football on TV, and grunted. The wife became hysterical, and insisted on knowing why he didn't go down to the shop and punch the rude salesman right in the nose." Well", the husband replied, "There are three reasons I won't punch that guy in the nose. First of all, you shouldn't have even been shopping for shoes, since you have a whole wardrobe full of them. more...