Shop Jokes / Recent Jokes
A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an older gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world.
The agent had had a good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity.
He called them into his shop and said, "I know that on your pension you could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you off to a fabulous resort at my expense, and I won't take no for an answer."
He took them inside and asked his secretary to write two flight tickets and book a room in a five star hotel.
hey, as can be expected, gladly accepted, and were on their way.
About a month later the little lady came in to his shop. "And how did you like your holiday?" he asked eagerly.
"The flight was exciting and the room was lovely," she said. "I've come to thank you. But, one thing puzzled me. Who was that old guy I had to share more...
A woman was thinking about finding a pet to help keep her company at home. She decided she would like to find a beautiful parrot. It wouldn't be as much work as a dog, and it would be fun to hear it speak. She went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful parrot. She went to the owner of the store and asked how much the bird cost.
The owner said it was $50.
Delighted that such a rare looking and beautiful bird wasn't more expensive, she agreed to buy it.
The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a whorehouse and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird. She told the owner that she still wanted the bird. The pet shop owner sold her the bird and she took it home. She hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new more...
Tim is sitting in a coffee shop when his girlfriend, Anna walks in the door.
Anna: You wont believe how my day went! Firstly I went shopping with the girls and spent $1000, then went on this cruise on the harbour and lastly went and saw my friend Paris.
Tim: Thanks for answering all the questions, I didnt ask!
A man walks into a pet shop and says to the owner, "Do your Shih Tzu dogs breed well?"
The owner says,"Sure they do."
After a minute, the man says, with a grin, "What about your bull dogs?"
"Yes they breed well, too."
The man, happy with this, buys both. The owner asks, "Why do you need to know that anyway?"
The man replies, "I'm going to go home and breed a bullshit!"
A guy was driving home one evening when he suddenly realizes that it is his daughter's birthday and that he hasn't bought her anything. Out the corner of his eye he sees a shopping mall. Knowing it was "now or never", he pulls his car through three lanes of traffic, finds a parking bay and runs into the mall. After a frantic search he finds a toy store, goes inside and attracts the attention of a shop assistant. When asked what he would like, he simply says "a Barbie doll". The shop assistant looks at him in the particularly condescending manner that only shop assistants can muster up and asks "Which Barbie would that be, sir?" The man looks surprised so the assistant continues "We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19. 95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19. 95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19. 95, Barbie dates BaddTeddy for $19. 95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19. 95, Barbie Goes Night Clubbing for $19. 95, Cyber Barbie for $19. 95 and Divorced Barbie more...
A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says, "the parrot on the left costs 500 dollars".
"Why does the parrot cost so much," asks the man.
The shop owner says, "well, the parrot knows how to use a computer".
The man then asks about the next parrot to be told that this one costs 1, 000 dollars because it can do everything the other parrot can do plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system.
Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third parrot to be told that it costs 2, 000 dollars. Needless to say this begs the question, "What can it do?"
To which the shop owner replies, "to be honest I have never seen it do a thing, but the other two call him boss!"
Once A man walks into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner shows two beautiful ones out on the floor. This one’s Rs. 100. 00 and the other is Rs. 250. 00.
How much is that 3rd one?
Shop owner – That is for 500. 00.
Why – What’s special in it. Shop owner - Nothing but these two call him Boss.