Shopkeeper Jokes / Recent Jokes
A young blonde was onvacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in theworst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming veryfrustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blondeshouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair ofshoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said,"By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself analligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly towardher. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to theswamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead more...
Once Santa Went In An Electronic Shop And Asked The Price Of A T. V. The Shopkeeper Said That He Doesn't Sell Things To Sardars. Santa Became Angry And The Next Day He Came Dressed Like A Muslim And Asked The Rate Of T. V, But He Was Told Again That They Don't Sell Things To Sardars. He Became Very Angry And The Next Day He Shaved Off His Head And Came Into The Shop Dressed Like A South Indian. But Once Again He Was Told The Same.
He Asked The Shopkeeper That How Did He Recognise Him Everyday.
The Shopkeeper Replied That Because It Was An Oven Instead Of A T. V.
Natha and his wife wanted to buy a colour television set. They went to the biggest television shop in Jalandhar where the following conversation took place:
Shopkeeper:' What kind of TV. set would you like to buy, sir?'
Natha.' Colour T. V. set only.'
After the shopkeeper had shown them the different sets available, Natha and his wife went to one side and began an animated discussion. After some time, the shopkeeper helpfully enquired,' What are you discussing? Maybe I can help you?'
'We have a problem. We can't decide which colour to buy,' replied Natha.
This joke is fairly long but a guarenteed laugh!
There was a young farmer who was in need of a rooster. So he head down to the local shop to buy one.
He then says to the shopkeeper: "hello mister! I am in need of a rooster. Do you have one?" The shopkeeper replies:
"Why yes I do, but around these parts we don't call them roosters. We call them coq's."
The man replies: "ok, ill take one coq"
So the man is off home with his coq.
The next day the farmer heads down to the shop again. This time to buy a goat. He says to the shopkeeper like yesterday...
"Hello again! I am in need of a goat. Do you have one?" The shopkeeper replies:
"Why yes I do, but we dont call them goat's around here. We call them pullets" The farmer is confused of the shopkeepers habits, but decides to reply kindly: "Ok I'll take one pullet." So the farmer is on his way home with his coq and pullet.
The very next day he goes more...
The shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST DEALS.
He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES.
The shopkeeper was panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop-it read...
MAIN ENTRANCE.
A good friend of mine was recently touring Scotland. After stopping in a local store he spied a kilt that he absolutely had to have. After haggling with the shopkeeper for an extended period of time, they arrived at a mutually agreeable price far below that which was posted.My friend then took out his velcro wallet and proceeded to open it, at which point the shopkeeper exclaimed "Ay, now that is a good Scotch purse, it even screams when ye open it!"
A tourist walks into a pet shop in Silicon Valley, and is browsing around the cages on display. While he's there, another customer walks in and says to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a C monkey, please".
The shopkeeper nods, goes over to a cage at the side of the shop and takes out a monkey. He fits a collar and leash and hands it to the customer, saying "That'll be $5, 000". The customer pays and walks out with his monkey.
Startled, the tourist goes over to the shopkeeper and says, "That was a very expensive monkey, most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did it cost so much?"
"Oh", says the shopkeeper, "that monkey can program in C with very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money."
The tourist starts to look at the monkeys in the cage. He says to the shop keeper, "That one's even more expensive, $10, 000! What does it do?"
"Oh", says the shopkeeper, "that one's a C++ more...