Shopkeeper Jokes / Recent Jokes

Christmas was coming near and it was time for Little Johnny to finish his holiday shopping. He went into a toy shop, took a toy plane, gave the shopkeeper fake money and started to leave.
The shopkeeper spoke up, "Excuse me little boy, this isn't real money."
Little Johnny didn't reply and continued walking.
The shopkeeper repeated himself, but Johnny kept walking.
The third time the shopkeeper called him, Johnny replied, "What?"
The shopkeeper said, "I'm sorry, young man, but this is not real money."
Johnny looked at the plane in his hands, looked at the shopkeeper and finally said, "And this isn't a real plane."

There once was aboy named Johnny who went into a toy store, took a toy plane, gave the shopkeeper fake money and started to leave. The shopkeeper told him, "Excuse me litlle boy this is not real money".
Little jhonny walked towards the exit without giving a reply. the shopkeeper repeated himself and Jhonny kept walking. The third time shopkeeper said "I'm sorry, young man, but this is not real money ".
Jhonny lookes at the plane in his hands, looks at the shopkeeper and finally said "This isn't a real plane too".

A guy walks into a gun shop to buy a gun." Can I help you sir?, asked the shopkeeper". Ah, yes... I want to buy a. 44 Magnum please. The shopkeeper informs the man that the. 44 is a very powerful gun, and asks the customer what he's going to use it for. The man replies, "I want to shoot cans!"What? Cans! You don't need a. 44 to shoot cans sir, a much smaller gun would do, advised the shopkeeper. The customer has enough and finally says, "Shut up and give me the dang. 44 Mag... I want to shoot AmeriCans, MexiCans, and AfriCans!

A young blonde was onvacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in theworst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.After becoming veryfrustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blondeshouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair ofshoes at a reasonable price!"The shopkeeper said,"By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself analligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly towardher. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to theswamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper more...

A duck went to a shop went up one aisle downt the other up one down the other then he went over to a shopkeeper and asked do you have any duck food? the shopkeeper said no the next day the duck came back to the shop and went up one aisle and down the other up one and down the other he went over to the shopkeeper and asked do u have any duck food the shopkeeper said no and if you ever ask again then im going to nail your feet down the duck came back the next day and did the same thing but when it came to asking whether he had and duck food he asked instead do you have any nails? the shopkeeper said no then the duck asked do you have any duck food? lol it is funni

A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper "I'll have a C monkey please".
The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop, and took out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash and handed it to the customer, saying, "That'll be $5000."
The customer paid and walked out with his monkey. Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did it cost so much?"
The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that monkey can program in C - very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money."
The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage. "That one's even more expensive - $10, 000! What does it do?" "Oh, that one's a C monkey; it can manage object-oriented programming, Visual C, even some Java. All the really useful more...

A man walked into a curio shop and began to browse. He was attracted to a brass rat on a shelf behind the counter. He asked the shopkeeper for a price, and was told to make an offer. Presently they agreed on a price, and the brass rat changed hands. The shopkeeper warned the customer as he took the money, "This sale is final. If you leave the shop with the brass rat, I won't take it back under any circumstances." The customer agreed and left with the rat. As he walked home, he noticed that a live rat came scurrying out of an alley and began to follow him. Soon there were more, all following him and milling bout his feet. The man began to run, but the rats kept up, and more joined the procession. After a few minutes, thousands of rats were chasing after the man. The man ran frantically for the river, and threw the brass rat into the water. The live rats followed the brass rat, and soon all had drowned. The man returned to the curio shop, and on seeing him enter, the more...