Shoppers Jokes / Recent Jokes

Despite scattered reports of violence, U. S. shoppers sustained minimal
casualties during the first few days of the holiday shopping blitz that
began last Friday.
But rampant consumerism turned deadly at a Wal-Mart in Kentucky yesterday
when two shoppers were slain by a heavily armed Robosapien, a remote-control
robot that is one of this year’s hottest gifts. Police are trying to
determine whether the toy acted alone or was operated by a disgruntled
human.
The death toll now stands at three - a Texas tot was crushed by a giant
SpongeBob SquarePants - but analysts say it could climb as determined
consumers battle for coveted items under the pressure of a Dec. 25 deadline.
The annual battle to purchase material goods for Jesus’s birthday began the
day after Thanksgiving (aka Black Friday) with a coordinated pre-dawn
assault on the nation’s retailers.
Bargain-hunting consumers coast-to-coast mobbed the nearest more...

Twas the night before Christmas,
and all through the mall,
Not a creature was idle,
shoppers least of all;

The merchandise was placed in the windows with care,
In hopes that great sale shoppers soon would be there.

The parents were hoping to keep out of the red,
While visions of tax returns danced in their heads;
And Ma in her overcoat and Pa in his fleece,
Headed to the mall despite a tight winter squeeze.

When out from the womenswear, there arose such a clatter,
We looked up from our wares to see what was the matter.
Away to the sales rack we flew like a flash,
Tore off the clothing and paid it with cash.

The moms with kids were all in tow,
The stores were all aglow,
When all at once we saw him appear,
A fat old man with a great white beard!

With all the bustle so lively and quick,
We knew in a moment it was just a trick.
Ten bucks for a photo, on the lap more...