Shouted Jokes / Recent Jokes

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist's boat capsized. Although he could swim, his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the capsized craft. Finally spotting a beachcomber on the shore, he shouted out to him, "Hey, are there any 'gators around here?"
"Nope," the man yelled back. "Ain't been any 'gators 'round these parts for years!"
Feeling more at ease, the tourist commenced swimming leisurely towards shore.
When he was about halfway there, he shouted out to the beachcomber again, "How'd you get rid of the 'gators?"
"Oh, we didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber yelled back. "The sharks got every last one of 'em!"

Three men, an Scot, an English man and a sumo wrestler were going to commit suicide by jumping of the top of a building.
The Scot jumped off and shouted ''God save Scotland!''
The English man jumped off and shouted ''God Save England!''
The Sumo wrestler jumped off and shouted ''God save the person who I land on!''

The officer shouted orders to a nearby soldier. With considerable bravery, the GI ran directly onto the field of battle, in the line of fire, to retrieve a dispatch case from a dead soldier. In a hail of bullets, he dove back to safety. "Private," the officer said, "I'm recommending you for a medal. You risked your life to save the locations of our secret warehouses." "Warehouses?" the private shouted. "I thought you said whorehouses!"

"Waiter!" shouted the furious diner, "how dare you serve me this! There's a bloody twig in my soup!"
"My apologies," said the waiter. "I'll inform the branch manager."

A man is in court. The Judges says,"on the 3rd August you are accused of killing your wife by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead?" "Guilty", said the man in the dock. At this point a man at the back of the court stood up and shouted "You dirty rat!" The Judge asked the man to site down and to refrain from making any noise. The Judge continued "..... and that also on the 17th September you are accused of killing your son by beating him to death with a hammer, how do you plead"?" Guilty", said the man in the dock. Again the same man at the back stood up and shouted even louder, "You dirty rotten stinking rat"!! At this point the Judge called the man to the bench and said, "I have already asked you to be quiet, if you continue with these outbursts, I will have to charge you with contempt of court. I can understand your feelings, but what relationship have you to this man?" He replied "He is my more...

"Maitre d!" shouted the angry diner, "there's a fly in my soup! What's the meaning of this?"
Bowing politely, the mustachioed gentleman said, "I couldn't say. May I recommend a good fortune-teller?"

A missionary visited a small village in a remote jungle and began preaching the gospel.
"Jesus saves!" exclaimed the missionary. "Bawana!" shouted the natives.
"Ye must be baptized!" exclaimed the missionary. "Bawana!" shouted the natives
"Donate tithes and offerings!" exclaimed the missionary. "Bawana!" shouted the natives.
Having had such a successful time, the missionalry inquired of the chief as to how he could go to the next village, to share the gospel with them too.
The chief replied, "You go down road one thousand paces, you turn right, climb over wall made of rocks, run across field. Many bulls in field, you run fast, but be careful not step in bawana."