Shovels Jokes / Recent Jokes

Dear Diary:

Aug. 1 - Moved to our new house in Maine. It is so beautiful here. The city is so picturesque. Can hardly wait to see it covered with snow. I LOVE IT HERE.

Oct. 14 - New England is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are turning all different colors. I love the shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the hills and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most peaceful animals on earth. This must be paradise. I LOVE IT HERE.

Nov. 11 - Deer season will open soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such an elegant creature. The very symbol of peace and tranquility. Hope it will snow soon. I LOVE IT HERE.

Dec. 2 - It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed in white. It looked like a postcard. Went outside and cleaned snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight today (I won). When the snowplow came by we had to shovel the driveway again. What a more...

Dear Friend;
We have the distinguished honor of being on the committee for the raising
of $5, 000, 000. 00 for placing a statue of Bill Clinton in the Hall of Fame
in Washington, D. C.
This committee was in a quandary as to where to place the statue. It was
not wise to place it beside the statue of George Washington, who never
told a lie, nor beside Jesse Jackson, who never told the truth, since
Bill Clinton could never tell the difference.
We finally decided to place it beside Christopher Columbus, the greatest
democrat of all. He left not knowing where he was going, did not know
where he was, and returned not knowing where he had been. And he did it
all on borrowed money.
Over 3, 000 years ago Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick up your
shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the promised
land." Nearly 3, 000 years later Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels,
sit more...

One morning a local highway department crew reaches their job-site and realizes they have forgotten all their
shovels. The crew's foreman radios the office and tells his supervisor the situation.

The supervisor radios back and says, "Don't worry, we'll send some shovels... just lean on each other until they arrive."

Aug. 12 Moved to our new home in Montana. It is so beautiful here. The mountains are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see the snow covering them.
Oct. 14 Montana is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have turned all colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the beautiful mountains and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animals on earth. This must be paradise! I love it here.
Nov. 11 Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon. I love it here.
Dec. 2 It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleared the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight, I won. Than the snowplow came by. We had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place! I love Montana!!
Dec. 12 More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did it's trick again more...

AUG 12 Moved to our new home in upstate New York. It is so beautiful
here. The mountains are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see them with
snow on them. I love it here.

OCT 14 Upstate New York is the most beautiful place on earth. The
leaves are turning all the colors and shades of red and orange. Went
for a ride through the beautiful mountains and saw some deer. They are so
graceful, certainly they are the most wonderful animal on earth. This
must be paradise. I love it here.

NOV 11 Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to
kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon. I love it here.

DEC 2 It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed
with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow
off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I
won), and when the snow plow came by, we had to shovel again. What a
beautiful more...

Aug. 12 Moved to our new home in Montana. It is so beautiful here. The mountains are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see the snow covering them.

Oct. 14 Montana is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have turned all colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the beautiful mountains and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animals on earth. This must be paradise! I love it here.

Nov. 11 Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon. I love it here.

Dec. 2 It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleared the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight, I won. Than the snowplow came by. We had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place! I love Montana!!

Dec. 12 More snow last night. I love it. The more...

Bill Clinton Statue Committee 1040 Waffle Street Little Rock, Arkansas 72208 Dear Friend; We have the distinguished honor of being on the committee for the raisingof $5, 000, 000. 00 for placing a statue of Bill Clinton in the Hall of Famein Washington, D. C. This committee was in a quandary as to where to place the statue. It wasnot wise to place it beside the statue of George Washington, who nevertold a lie, nor beside Jesse Jackson, who never told the truth, sinceBill Clinton could never tell the difference. We finally decided to place it beside Christopher Columbus, the greatestdemocrat of all. He left not knowing where he was going, did not knowwhere he was, and returned not knowing where he had been. And he did itall on borrowed money. Over 3, 000 years ago Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick up yourshovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the promisedland." Nearly 3, 000 years later Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your more...