"Dear Diary Ii" joke

AUG 12 Moved to our new home in upstate New York. It is so beautiful
here. The mountains are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see them with
snow on them. I love it here.

OCT 14 Upstate New York is the most beautiful place on earth. The
leaves are turning all the colors and shades of red and orange. Went
for a ride through the beautiful mountains and saw some deer. They are so
graceful, certainly they are the most wonderful animal on earth. This
must be paradise. I love it here.

NOV 11 Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to
kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon. I love it here.

DEC 2 It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed
with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow
off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I
won), and when the snow plow came by, we had to shovel again. What a
beautiful place. I love upstate New York.

DEC 12 More snow last night. I love it. The snow plow did his trick
again to the driveway. I love it here!

DEC 19 More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get
to work. I am exhausted from shoveling. Damn snow plow.

DEC 22 More of that white shit fell last night. I've got blisters on
my hands from shoveling. I think the snow plow hides around the curve
and waits until I'm done shoveling the driveway. Asshole!

DEC 25 Merry Fucking Christmas! More friggin snow. If I ever get my
hands on that son-of-a-bitch who drives that snow plow, I swear I'll
kill him. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to
melt the fucking ice.

DEC 27 More white shit last night. Been inside for 3 days except for
shoveling out the driveway after that snow plow goes through every
time. Can't go anywhere, car's stuck in a mountain of white shit. The
weatherman says to expect another 10of the shit again tonight. Do you
know how many shovels full of snow 10is?

DEC 28 The fucking weatherman was wrong. We got 34of that white
shit this time. At this rate it won't melt before next summer. The snow plow
got stuck up the road and that bastard came to the door and asked to
borrow my shovel. After I told him I had broken six shovels already
shoveling all the shit he pushed into the driveway, I broke my last one
over his fucking head.

JAN 4 Finally out of the house today. Went to the store to get food
and on the way back a fucking deer ran in front of the car and I hit
it. Did about $3, 000 damage to the car. Those fucking beasts should be
killed. Wish the hunters had killed them all last November.

MAY 3 Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing
is rusting out from that fucking salt they put all over the road.

MAY 10 Moved to Georgia. I can't imagine why anyone in their right
mind would want to live in that God-forsaken state of New York.