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Old Mr. Bensen married a young girl. He showered her with gifts. To
show her appreciation she had his initials B. B.(stood for Bette Bensen)
tattooed on her rear end - one "B" each buttocks. At bed time she bent
over and pulled up her night-gown to show him the result. Old Mr. Bensen said
as he stood there in amazement was, "Whose BOB?"

Bobby's death
One day a mortician after performing an autopsy suddenly observed that the dead man had a massive organ. He promptly cut it and put it in the brief case so that he can show it to his wife.
After going home he kept the briefcase on the table and told the wife that he brought something of interest to show her and opened the brief.
"Oh my God is bobby dead" screamed the wife and fainted.
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African Thermometer
Theree guys one American, british and a nigerian were going on an expedition in the Aamzon river.
The American dipped his thing in the water and told the others the temperature of the water is 40 degrees. The British guy did the same thing and said the temperature was 50 degrees. The Nigerian dipped his prick and said " I know nothing about the temperature but the water is one foot deep.
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This joke is about Native Americans; no offense intended, hope none is taken. Native American Indian legend has it that many years ago, before the domination of the White Man, there existed a tribe that lived in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. And in this tribe, the Chief had decided that the time had come for his only daughter, the beautiful Wild Honey, to marry.
Now in this tribe, selection of a mate for the daughter of a chief involved a kind of round-robin competition among the eligible braves to determine who was the bravest, the strongest, the best hunter and provider. From the preliminary rounds, two great contenders emerged - the fast and powerful Running Water, and the bold and handsome Falling Rocks.
The final event of the competition would decide the winner. Each brave was given exactly seven days to prepare the traditional BTFTLOOTGO - "bridal tepee for the Little One of the Great One." The winner would be the brave who built the better tepee and more...

Jack is one horny guy and is not sure what to do about it. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a five dollar bill. He walks down the steet to the local
brothal and knocks on the door. The madam opens the door and asks Jack what she can do for him.
"I'm really horny but I only have $5. What can you do for me?" Jack asks the madam. She looks over this fellow and tells him, "Don't worry we can take care of you. No problem". She leads Jack into this room where in the opposite corner is a chicken. Jack thinks about this a second and figures it can't be that bad. He gives the madam the $5 and she closes the door behind her.
Jack undresses and has the time of his live. When he's done he can't remember when he has had such a pleasurable experience.
One week later, and horny again, Jack has saved up $10. Being a satisfied customer he goes back to the same madam and asks what she can do for him for
$10. "Well for $10 we have special show", more...

What TV game show do fish like best? Name that tuna!

A duck walks into a job center and says to the man behind the desk' Excuse me; I'm looking for a job. Can you help?'
The man can't believe it and replies' hold on minute sir, I'll make some enquiries for you'....the man then phones up a showbiz agency and explains that there's this amazing talking duck wanting a job and could the agent find him work in a show somewhere. Obviously the agent is excited and has no problem in finding a show for the duck.

The man goes back to the duck and says' Good news sir, I've found you job in show business'

With this the duck replies' That`s no good, I'm a plumber'

Bart Simpson's Chalkboard Archive

I will not carve gods.
I will not spank others.
I will not aim for the head.
I will not barf unless I'm sick.
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.
I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge.
I will not conduct my own fire drills.
Funny noises are not funny.
I will not snap bras.
I will not fake seizures.
This punishment is not boring and pointless.
My name is not Dr. Death.
I will not defame New Orleans.
I will not prescribe medication.
I will not bury the new kid.
I will not teach others to fly.
I will not bring sheep to class.
A burp is not an answer.
Teacher is not a leper.
Coffee is not for kids.
I will not eat things for money.
I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call.
The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee.
I will not call the principal "spud head".
Goldfish don't bounce.
Mud more...