Shut Jokes / Recent Jokes

One Day Poop, Shut Up, and Manners were driving in a car and Poop
fell out. Shut up went to the police station. The policeman asked what
his name was. Shut up said Shut up. Whats your name? Shut up. For the last
time whats your name. Shut up. Where are your manners? Around the corner
picking up Poop.

One Day Stupid, Trouble, and Shut Up were driving along in their car when Trouble suddenly hurled himself out of the window.Well, Stupid and Shut Up did not know what to do so they went to the police station. When they got there the chief asked them their names."Shut Up", replied Shut Up."Stupid", replied Stupid.The police chief thought these people were telling him to shut up, and were calling him stupid. Which made him very mad. "Excuse Me!" shouted the chief.Thinking the chief was hard of hearing, They once again shouted there names."Shut Up!""Stupid!"The police chief was very riled. He then asked" Are you looking for trouble?"!!! Stunned at the idea of the chief knowing that they were looking for their friend, they replied,"Why yes, how did you know?"

>>>Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
>>>
>>>Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able
>>to
>>>support you.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>Why do women have smaller feet than men?
>>>
>>>So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
>>>
>>>
>>>How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart?
>>>
>>>When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
>>>
>>>
>>>How do you fix a woman's watch?
>>>
>>>You don't, there's a clock on the oven!
>>>
>>>
>>>Why do men pass gas more than women?
>>>
>>>Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
>>>
>>>
>>>Why were shopping carts invented?
>>>
>>>To teach women to walk on their hind legs.
>>>
>>>
>>>Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and you're going to want
>>to
>>>shoot more...

One Day Stupid, Trouble, and Shut Up were driving along in their car when Trouble suddenly hurled himself out of the window.
Well, Stupid and Shut Up did not know what to do so they went to the police station. When they got there the chief asked them their names.
“Shut Up”, replied Shut Up.
“Stupid”, replied Stupid.
The police chief thought these people were telling him to shut up, and were calling him stupid. Which made him very mad. “Excuse Me! ” shouted the chief.
Thinking the chief was hard of hearing, They once again shouted there names.
“Shut Up! ”
“Stupid! ”
The police chief was very riled. He then asked” Are you looking for trouble? ”!!!
Stunned at the idea of the chief knowing that they were looking for their friend, they replied, ”Why yes, how did you know? ”

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts the sentence with, 'A man once told me...'
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There's a clock on the stove.
Why do men pass gas more than women do?
Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog of course... at least he'll shut up after you've let him in.
All wives are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman more...

A guy with leprosy wins tickets to see the world series. But when he gets there, he has trouble finding a seat because pieces of him arepeeling and flaking off, and he's very concerned about grossing outthe other fans.The leper wanders through the bleachers looking for a seat where hisgrotesque appearance won't disturb anyone else. Finally he finds an open seat where he might be able to watch the game. He asks the manin the adjoining seat if it would be okay to sit there.The man answers, "Yeah. Just sit down, shut up, and watch the game."The leper sits down and adds, "As you can see, I have leprosy. Ifit disturbs you, I will move.""It doesn't bother me. Just shut up, and watch the game."A while later, during the fourth inning, the man suddenly vomits.Frothy beer, hot dogs, and peanuts are splattered everywhere.Seeing this, the leper gets up and says, "Thank you for allowingme to sit next to you, but I can see that my appearance has causedyou to get more...

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..." How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven. Why do men break wind more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman that won't do what she's told. I married Miss Right. I just didn't more...