Sighs Jokes

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts."

The wife sighs and gets him a beer.

Fifteen minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer before it starts."

She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him.

He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute."

The wife is furious. She yells at him "Is that all you're going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore. . . "

The man sighs and says, "It's started. . "

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have not been to confession for six months. On top of that, I've been with a loose woman."
The priest sighs. "Is that you, little Tommy O'Shaughnessy?"
"Yes, Father, 'tis I."
"And who might be the woman you were with?"
"I shan't be tellin' you, Father. It would ruin her reputation."
"Well, Tommy, I'm bound to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda O'Malley?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Patricia Fitzgerald?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Lisa O'Shanter?"
"I'm sorry, but I'll not name her."
"Was it Cathy O'Dell?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Fiona Mallory, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a steadfast lad, Tommy O' Shaughnessy, and I admire that. But you've more...

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts. ”

The wife sighs and gets him a beer.

Fifteen minutes later, he says, “Get me another beer before it
starts. ”

She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him.

He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, “Quick, get me another beer, it’s going to start any minute. ”

The wife is furious. She yells at him,

“Is that all you’re going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You’re nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob and furthermore. . . ”

The man sighs and says, “It’s started. ”

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts!"

The wife sighs and gets him a beer.

Ten minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer before it starts!"

She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute!"

The wife is furious. She yells at him "Is that all you're going to do tonight! Drink beer and sit in front of that TV! You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore..."

The man sighs and says, "It's started..."

A son and a father are walking together in a sunday morning, chatting. They enter a park and pass by a big, fat man, on a bench, drooling in his sleep (with his mouth open) and a bag of potato chips on his lap. As they pass by him the son snickers, while the father sighs. They continue walking talking about many things. Eventually, a hot woman in a red dress passes by, the son looks at her with eyes of passion. The father looks at her too.
"Son, don't be fooled by a woman's good looks"
the son looks at his father, ready for a lesson.
"That's your mom 20 years ago"
then he sighs.
"That's your mom now", he says as he looks at the man on the bench.