Silk Jokes / Recent Jokes

A cab driver reached the Pearly Gates where he was met by St. Peter. After reading the entry for the cabby in his Big Book, St. Peter told him to grab a silk robe and a golden staff and to proceed into Heaven.
Next in line behind the cabby was a preacher who had been observing these proceedings with great interest. St. Peter read the preacher's entry in his Big Book and said, "Ok, we'll let you in, but take that cloth robe and wooden staff."
Astonished, the preacher replied, "But, St. Peter, I am a man of the cloth! You gave the cab driver a silk robe and a golden staff. Surely I rate higher than a cabby."
"Here we are simply interested in results," St. Peter explained. "When you preached, people slept. When the cabby drove his taxi, people prayed."

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important that we keep mentally alert. The saying: "If you don't use it, you will lose it" also applies to the brain.
Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. So take the following test presented here and determine if you are losing it or are still a MENSA candidate. OK, relax, clear your
mind and. . . begin.
1. What do you put in a toaster?
The answer is bread. If you said "toast", then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread", go to question 2.
2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk". What do cows drink?
Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk", please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously overstressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with
reading something more more...

A man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box. We're leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh! And please pack my new blue silk pajamas."

The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy but being a good wife she does exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good.

The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish. He says, "Yes! Lots of Walleye, some Blue gill, and a few Pike. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?"

The wife replies; "I did, they were in your tackle box.&qu

Online computer users may engage in what is affectionately known as "cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through internet phone lines get pretty raunchy However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex. Then again, maybe he does.................

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from WalMart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner... it smells funny.

Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?

Wellhung: OK... sure.

Sweetheart: We're more...

A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I have the chance to go fishing for a week. It`s the opportunity of a lifetime. We leave right away, so can you pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and especially my blue silk pajamas? I`ll be home in an hour to pick them up." He hurries home, grabs everything and rushes off. A week later he returns. His wife asks, "Did you have a good trip?" "Oh yes, great! But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas." "Oh no I didn`t. I put them in your fishing box."

A biologist phones his wife from his office and says, "Honey, something has just come up, I realize its not my field season, but I have to visit my field site for a week. So, would you pack my clothes, my field equipment and my blue silk pajamas? Ill be home in 1 hour to pick them up." A week later he returned. "Did you have a good trip, dear?" his wife asked."Oh, it was just a typical field trip, you know, work work work," he exclaimed, and added "But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas.""No I didnt," she replied. "I put them in the box of field equipment!"

Think of the beat of the song walking in a winter wonderland while you are reading this...
Lacy things - the wife is missin',
Didn't ask - her permission,
I'm wearin' her clothes,
Her silk pantyhose,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.
In the store - there's a teddy,
Little straps - like spaghetti,
It holds me so tight,
Like handcuffs at night,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.
In the office there's a guy named Melvin,
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown.
He'll say, "Are you ready?" I'll say,"Whoa, Man!"
"Let's wait until our wives are out of town!"
Later on, if you wanna,
We can dress - like Madonna,
Put on some eyeshade,
And join the parade,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!
Lacy things... missin',
Didn't ask... permission,
Wearin' her clothes,
Her silk pantyhose,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear,
Walkin' more...