Silver Jokes / Recent Jokes

In 1967, the Soviet Government minted a beautiful silver ruble with Lenin in a very familiar pose - arms raised above him, leading the country to revolution.

But, it was clear to everybody, that if you looked at it from behind, it was clear that Lenin was pointing to 11: 00, when the Vodka shops opened, and was actually saying, "Comrades, forward to the Vodka shops."
It became fashionable, when one wanted to have a drink, to take out the ruble and say, "Oh my goodness, Comrades, Lenin tells me we should go."

A retired gentlman went into the social security office to apply for social security After waiting in line a long time he got to the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his drivers license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "Will I have to go home and come back now?"he asks.
The woman says,"unbutton your shirt"
So he opens his shirt revealing lots of curly silver hair. she says"that silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me," and she processed his social security application.
When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the social security office. she said,"you should have dropped your pants, you might have qualified for disabilty too."

Worried because they hadnt heard anything for days from the widow in the neighboring apartment, Mrs. Silver said to her son, "Timmy, would you go next door and see how old Mrs. Kirkland is?"A few minutes later, Timmy returned."Well," asked Mrs. Silver, "is she all right?""Shes fine, except that shes angrywith you.""With me?" the woman exclaimed. "Whatever for?""She said Its none of your business how old she is," snickered Timmy.

Mrs. Ravioli comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner... who lives with a female roommate Maria. During the course of the meal, his mother couldnt help but notice how pretty Anthonys roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his moms thoughts, Anthony volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, Ive been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You dont suppose she took it, do you?" Well, I doubt it, but Ill e-mail her, just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote;
Dear Momma,
Im not saying that you did take the sugar bowl from my house, and Im not saying that you more...

John and Nancy were married for 40 years and decided they wanted to renew their wedding vows, so they planned a second wedding. They were discussing the details with their friends. Nancy wasn't going to wear a traditional bridal gown and she started describing the dress she was planning to wear.One of her friends asked what color shoes she had to go with the dress.Nancy replied, "Silver."At that point, her husband chimed in, "Yep, silver...to match her hair."Shooting a glaring look at John's head, Nancy's friend said, "So John, I guess you are going barefoot?"

A retired gentleman went to apply for Social Security. After waiting in line for quite a long time he arrived at the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his identification to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "Will I have to go home and come back now?" he asks.

The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt." He opens his shirt revealing lots of curly silver hair. She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me," as she processes his Social Security application.

When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the Social Security office. She says, "You should have dropped your pants -- you might have qualified for disability, too."

John came home from work one afternoon, and being horny as hell took his
beautiful girlfriend, Suzy, upstairs to the bedroom. He proceeded to
undress her, but before he took his pants off, he removed a packet of
condoms from his pocket. "What are those?" Suzy asked."Olympic condoms" replied John."What makes them Olympic?"Suzy asked. "There are three colors, gold, silver and bronze," said John."Which color are you planning to wear tonight?" asked Suzy."Gold of course!" replied John."Well" said Suzy "Why don't you wear silver and come second for a change!"