Simple Jokes / Recent Jokes

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult, in order to accept the responsibilities of a 6 year old. The tax base is lower.
I want to be six again.
I want to go to McDonald's and think it's the best place in the world to eat.
I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make waves with rocks.
I want to think M&Ms are better than money, because you can eat them.
I want to play kickball during recess and stay up on Christmas Eve waiting to hear Santa and Rudolph on the roof.
I long for the days when life was simple. When all you knew were your colors, the addition tables and simple nursery rhymes, but it didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know, and you didn't care.
I want to go to school and have snack time, recess, gym and field trips.
I want to be happy, because I don't know what should make me upset.
I want to think the world is fair and everyone in it is honest and good.
I want to believe that more...

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year-old again.
I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant.
I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them.
I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day.
I want to return to a time when life was simple; when all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care.
I want to believe that anything is possible. I want to live simple again. I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones.
I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, more...

Nawaz Sherrif comes to Delhi for a meeting with Vajpayee. After dinner, Vajpayee says to Nawaz Sherrif: "Well Nawaz, I don't know what you think of the members of your Cabinet, but mine are all bright and brilliant." "How do you know?" asks Nawaz Sherrif
"Oh well, it's simple", says Atal. " They all have to take special tests before they can be a minister. Wait a second".
He calls Advani over and says to him
"Tell me Advaniji, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your
sister?" "Ah, that's simple", says Advani, "it is me!"
"Well done Advani", says Vajpayee and Nawaz Sherrif is very impressed.
He returns to Islamabad and wonders about the intelligence of the members of his Cabinet. He calls in his favourite
member of cabinet and asks: "Tell me, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is more...

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult.
I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year old again.
I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant.
I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks.
I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them.
I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day.
I want to return to a time when life was simple. When all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care. All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset.
I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good.
I want to believe that anything is possible.
I want to be oblivious to the more...

Why you should learn to use algebra. . . After applying some simple algebra to some trite phrases and cliches a new understanding can bereached of the secret to wealth and success. Here it goes. Knowledge is Power Time is Money and as every engineer knows, Power is Work over Time. So, substituting algebraic equations for these time worn bits of wisdom, we get: K = P (1) T = M (2) P = W/T (3)Now, do a few simple substitutions: Put W/T in for P in equation (1), which yields: K = W/T (4)Put M in for T into equation (4), which yields: K = W/M (5). Now we've got something. Expanding back into English, we get: Knowledge equals Work over Money. What this MEANS is that: 1. The More You Know, the More Work You Do, and 2. The More You Know, the Less Money You Make. Solving for Money, we get: M = W/K (6) Money equals Work Over Knowledge. From equation (6) we see that Money approaches infinity as Knowledge approaches 0, regardlessof the Work done. What THIS MEANS is: The More you Make, the Less more...

There is no job so simple that it cannot be done wrnog. There is no job so simple that it cannot be done wrrong. There is no limit to how bad things can get. There is no limit to the amount of good that people can accomplish, if they don`t care who gets the credit. There is no problem a good miracle can`t solve. There is no problem so large that it cannot be solved by the application of a correctly chosen thermonuclear device. There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else. There is no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation. There is no such thing as a "dirty capitalist", only a capitalist. There is no such thing as instant experience. There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.

After applying some simple algebra to some common phrases and
cliches, a new understanding can be reached to the secret of wealth and success.
Here it goes.
(K)nowledge is (P)ower
(T)ime is (M)oney, and as every engineer knows,
(P)ower is (W)ork over (T)ime.

So, substituting algebraic equations for these time worn bits of
wisdom, we get:
K = P (1)
T = M (2)
P = W/T (3)

Now, do a few simple substitutions:

Put W/T in for P in equation (1), which yields:
K = W/T (4)
Put M in for T into equation (4), which yields:
K = W/M (5).
Now we've got something. Expanding back into English, we get:

Knowledge equals Work over Money.
What this MEANS is that:

1. The More You Know, the More Work You Do, and
2. The More You Know, the Less Money You Make.

Solving for Money, we get:

M = W/K (6)

Money equals Work Over Knowledge.
From equation more...